


The Parent (and Mentor) Trap

by GeminiAlchemist, Raphael_Antonello



Series: Uniting Homes [6]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: After season 1, F/F, Gay Disaster Amity Blight, I think that's all the tags I need, Luz has shipping goggles, Right?, and I can't remember EVERY detail of the show, because I don't have access to the episodes anymore, slight shifts away from canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:42:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28302513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeminiAlchemist/pseuds/GeminiAlchemist, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raphael_Antonello/pseuds/Raphael_Antonello
Summary: Months have passed since Camila Noceda decided to take a one way ticket to the Boiling Isles to be by her daughter's side.She's made many friends, but Luz thinks that just maybe, something more is sparking between her mother and a certain Owl Lady.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, Eda Clawthorne & Camila Noceda, Eda Clawthorne/Camila Noceda
Series: Uniting Homes [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1940611
Comments: 121
Kudos: 408





	1. The First One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Months have passed since Camila Noceda decided to take one way ticket to the Boiling Isles to be by her daughter's side. 
> 
> She's made many friends, but Luz thinks that just maybe, something more is sparking between her mother and a certain Owl Lady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! Gemini here with what is planned to be the final installment of the Uniting Homes series. This is the big one, my baby that I've had planned since basically day one, and I'm so happy to have been able to write it. One again, I have my editor and cowriter, Raphael_Antonello to thank for this being as neat and well written as it is. Stick around until the end and we should have some more notes!

For Camila Noceda, life on the Boiling Isles wasn't too rough. In the many months since she arrived here, Camila found a decent job selling produce at the Marketplace. Not only did this put bread on the table, but it paid for night classes where she learned about healing magic. It would be another few years before she earned her degree, but with Luz, Eda, and Lilith learning more glyphs by the day, Camila used their help to improve her knowledge of magical medicine.

On the other hand, life on the Boiling Isles was incredibly strange for the Hispanic mother. As a nurse, Camila saw many awful sights, including the deaths of various patients. That was normal: people were supposed to look sick in hospitals. Here, however, Camila could sell vegetables to a flaming skeleton, and she just had to accept that. And somewhere deep in her brain, some part of her still rejected this as some sort of stress-induced coma after losing her one-and-only daughter.

It never reflected well whenever Camila shrieked at an eyeball-covered demon, or when she had a panic attack about the dozens of monsters that streamed past her every day at work. It only made her job more stressful, and some days Camila wondered what she was doing with her life.

Thankfully, whenever she had these episodes, the other members of the Owl House did their best to console Camila, to tell her that yes, this was all real, and she wasn't in the middle of a mental breakdown. During these times, they often helped ground Camila in reality by sitting her down, giving her a warm cup of tea, and distracting her with a jigsaw puzzle, her favorite soapbox drama on the Crystal Ball, or simply talking.

Today, Camila had a particularly rough episode after a harpy flew down and snatched a customer before she could give him a basket of squash, and with everyone else at work or school, it fell to Eda to soothe Camila’s nerves. Camila found herself being led by the hand to the sofa by Eda, who pressed a warm mug into her hands and promised it wasn’t spiked with hard Appleblood. Eda then spent the past hour sharing tales from her childhood.

Camila was too shell-shocked to hear most of the conversation, but at some point, Eda pulled a scrapbook out of her wild mane of hair and showed photographs of her and Lilith as children.

“I never realized you were a carrot top,” said Camila, speaking for the first time since she got home. Her voice was hoarse from shrieking earlier, but the Hispanic mother roused herself as she pointed at a photograph of Eda, who held aloft a Grudgby trophy.

While Camilia knew that Lilith was a ginger, her black hair dye almost entirely faded, exposing her orange-and-gray locks, it never occurred to her that Eda shared the same color. She looked between the Owl Lady’s gray mane and the little girl in the photograph, smiling so confidently with her trophy and bright orange hair. 

Eda blinked and glanced at Camila. Her heart twinged with gratitude that the woman who had become one of her closest friends was on the upswing. 

The Owl Lady gave a casual shrug, trying to hide her relief. “Well, yeah? Everyone in my family does. Or did. This was way before the curse turned my hair gray, but I pulled it off pretty well, don't you think?” 

She fluffed her hair up with one hand, giving Camila a coy grin. As gray as it was, Eda’s hair certainly had volume. 

Camila silently nodded her head. When she flipped the page, she found a photograph of Eda and Lilith in an arm wrestling match. Although her face was red from the effort, Lilith nearly forced Eda’s arm down while the young girl gritted her teeth desperately. It wasn’t often that Camila saw Eda so vulnerable, even in an act of play.

“It never occurred to me that your curse affected your hair.” Camila admitted. “I just thought you were, uh, getting on in the years?”

“Gee, way to flatter a girl, Cam. Do you sweet talk all the pretty ladies, or just me?” said Eda in a deadpan tone. Her vanity bruised, the Owl Lady crossed her arms and let out a sharp snort.

“Oh, no no no!” said Camila, holding her hands up defensively. “I didn’t mean any offense! Gray looks good on you too, very good. It really matches your, uh, eye?”

“... thanks, Cam.”

The two women looked at several more photographs in silence. There was a photo of Eda and Lilith’s fifth/sixth grade graduation, a photo of Eda casting her first spell and the massive firestorm that promptly ensued, and a photo of Lilith playing the clarinet. Judging by the music teacher wincing in the background, she wasn’t very good at it. 

Despite her better judgment, Camila felt another question bubble to the surface, and she spoke before she could stop herself.

“Is that why Lilith's hair is going gray? I thought she looked a little young to be graying.”

Eda gave another shrug. “Yup, she's gonna end up gray just like me. That’s part of the cost of splitting the curse in two.”

She paused and shot Camila a look. “... Lilith is my older sister, by the way. If you thought she was the younger one, how old do I really look?”

“Er…”

Casting an eye across the scrapbook again, Camila noticed something: in many of the photographs, Lilith was always a class grade ahead of her sister, or engaging in older teenage activities instead of Eda, like getting her braces or attending Grom. Camila assumed that the rebellious Eda was simply held back a grade or she didn’t care for such pastimes; she never realized that it was because Lilith was the older of the two. 

With the scrapbook in front of her, it was pretty obvious, and Camila felt her cheeks burn for not realizing it sooner.

“... I always assumed you were, I dunno, a decade or two older than Lilith? Late 50s, early 60s, maybe?” said Camila in a sheepish voice. She gave an apologetic grin. “Spry for your age, don't get me wrong, but I’d never peg you for the baby in the family.”

A grimace crossed the Owl Lady’s face. At this rate, her pride would have more dents than a car at those ‘monster truck rallies’ Luz told her about. 

“Wow, you really took me for such an old geezer? I might not be a spring chick, but I’m flexible where it counts. I’d like to see witches half my age accomplish what I’ve done, which is a respectable forty-four years by the way.” Eda wavered a hand in the air and gave a small frown. “Eh, give or take a year. I may have lied so much about my age that I forgot the exact number…”

A snort escaped Camila, and she gave Eda a gentle shove. “This is the first time I've heard anything respectable about you, _bruja_.” 

Camila glanced at the photos again and her mirth melted into a sigh. “You're still so young, Eda. Just a few years older than me…”

She reached out and cupped Eda's cheek, studying the wrinkles under the witch's eyes, her sallow skin, the frayed, gray hair. If Eda was in her mid-sixties, Camila would have thought her good for her age, but forty-four? And for as much as she cracked jokes about being flexible, Camila heard Eda’s joints creak in ways that no one under seventy should experience. 

This curse really did a number on the poor witch.

Gently, Eda placed a hand over Camila's, which still rested on the witch’s cheek. The touch lingered and Eda drew small circles across the back of Camila’s hand. The two women looked deeply into each other’s eyes, bark brown meeting gold and gray. Not a word was uttered, but it felt as if some quiet understanding was shared.

The moment ended when Eda suddenly blinked, and shaking her head, she gave a devil-may-care grin.

“Look, the past is the past. I've learned to live with it. Don't worry so much, Cam!” The Owl Lady winked at Camila and patted her on the shoulder. “The changes are only skin deep! So long as I can live true to my crazy self, I’ll be fine!”

Camila's gaze remained locked onto the gray-haired witch. Inside her mind, something clicked, and Camila remembered seeing something in her room that could improve this whole situation. The Hispanic mother shook her head vigorously.

“No no, you've spent the whole afternoon by my side, getting me back on my feet. It’s about time I return the favor.” She gave Eda’s cheek a light tap and took the Owl Lady by the hand.

As they reached the stairs and ascended to the second floor of the Owl House, Eda shrugged herself and thought, _“What the hay, what have I got to lose_?” 

* * *

Later that afternoon, Luz stumbled into the Owl House, her arms and backpack overflowing with school books from all nine courses she alone took at Hexside. Today, her mom was supposed to pick her up from school, but when she didn't show up, Luz knew it must have been a bad day, so she ran home as quickly as possible, weighed down and nearly tripping over herself every few feet the entire way there from the educational burden she had to carry.. 

Throwing her books and backpack onto the couch, Luz took a moment to catch her breath and brushed a hand through her bangs, which had grown long enough to obscure her vision. Luz considered getting her hair cut short again, but with all the sweet compliments Amity gave about her looks, Luz felt pretty for practically the first time ever. 

Maybe she could wear a hat instead? Luz could have sworn she saw a beanie in Eda’s collection of discarded human clothes she’d recently gone through because of a sudden growth spurt. Maybe she should fish that out in the future?

Those thoughts could come later though, because right now, her mom’s mental state was the more pressing matter. Not seeing Camila anywhere downstairs, Luz quickly raced up to the second floor of the Owl House, climbing two steps at a time. This was made even harder than it should have been because of her growth spurt, her longer-than-she-was-used-to legs making her nearly trip over her own feet with every bound.

Once Luz reached the second floor, she heard the sound of giggling drift from the hallway bathroom. Relief flooded throughout Luz’s body: if her mom found reason to laugh, then her episode had passed. Every time her mom had a panic attack, Luz felt a twinge of guilt; after all, if she had waited a while longer, maybe Belos would have completely fixed the portal and her mom wouldn’t be trapped in a magical world of demons and witches.

Still, Luz wanted to be extra sure her mom was okay, and seeing that the bathroom door was slightly ajar, Luz didn’t hesitate to throw it open.

“Hi, _Mamá_! How are– buuuh whaaa!?”

Luz’s jaw dropped. In front of her, sitting on a crooked stool with a towel draped over her shoulders, was Eda the Owl Lady. Beside Eda was Luz’s mother, who held an eyelash curler in one hand and Eda’s chin in the other. Camila’s head turned when she heard her daughter’s voice. 

“Oh, _mija_! Welcome home!” said Camila, a smile still on her lips from Eda’s joke. She returned her focus on the Owl Lady, carefully curling her eyelashes. “Sorry I didn’t pick you up from school, we lost track of time.”

Once Camila finished up, the Owl Lady rose to her feet, cast aside the towel, and stretched out her body. There were a few noisy creaks, but Eda hadn’t felt this energized in months. 

“Sorry for stealing your mom for the afternoon, kid,” said Eda. She gave a wink. “Well, how do I look?”

Luz continued to gape like a dying fish. While she'd like to blame her bright red face and shortness of breath on the run home with all those books, Luz knew that was only an excuse.

When she finally found her tongue, Luz said, “Y-you dyed your hair!?”

Luz felt a tad dumb for stating the obvious, but it was true: standing before her was a very red-haired Eda. While her mane wasn’t the same pumpkin orange Luz had seen in photographs, Eda’s hair was still vibrant like a tangerine. The tangles were gone as well as the split ends, giving it a cleaner look. Luz could only imagine how long it took to remove the knick knacks Eda stored in her hair to perform such a herculean task, but without a doubt, the Owl Lady looked more empowered than ever before.

That wasn’t the only thing different about Eda. With the help of the mountain of beauty care products on the counter, Eda’s face was positively aglow: a layer of foundation downplayed her wrinkles while some blush brought color back to her cheeks. Mascara and eyeliner framed Eda’s mismatched eyes, and some glossy lipstick made her face truly pop. 

The rest of Eda had received attention as well: her nails, usually long and uneven, were meticulously manicured with a fresh coat of nail polish. Her skin was properly moisturized, giving the Owl Lady a more youthful complexion, and her gold fang was polished and shiny.

To top it all off, Eda wore a tight red dress that hugged her curves beautifully. It was clearly from a box of human clothing based on its size, causing the hem to end halfway down Eda’s thighs, exposing her long pale legs because of her impressive, near seven feet of height. She wore a black lace jacket over the dress, which nearly met in the middle and was secured with a red belt. The dress made the magicless black gem worn on Eda’s chest pop while the black lace made it feel a part of the outfit, both pretty and normal. 

All in all, Eda the Owl Lady looked positively fantastic. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, she had style and grace, poise and confidence, a true beauty of a woman. Her eyes brimmed with a wily intelligence, and her grin was the downfall of angels. And the more Luz stared at her mentor, the more her heart raced.

Luz wasn't blind. She knew Eda was foxy for her age, but there was a difference between knowing someone was attractive, and personally finding them attractive. Luz suddenly felt uncomfortably hot under the collar, and she felt the urge to cover her eyes, as if she was peering into a mysterious and forbidden part of adulthood she wasn’t ready to confront yet.

“ _Dios mio_.”

The moment the words slipped out of Luz’s mouth, she clamped her hands over her guilty lips. Her face flushed in mortification, and Eda’s subsequent laughter only made her blush harder. 

“Ahahaha! Seems you did a great job dolling me up, Cammy, if Luz's reaction is anything to go by.”

After putting away the nail polish, Camila chuckled and playfully ruffled Luz's hair.

“Aw, you don’t need to be embarrassed, Luz! There’s nothing wrong with appreciating a woman’s beauty, so long as you remain kind and respectful.” She gave Luz a wink. “I might not be a fancy stylist, but I sure shined up this diamond in the rough, eh?”

“Hey, I heard that!” said Eda. “I appreciate the makeover, Cam, but I’m a five star knockout with or without makeup!”

After a few more rubs, Luz pushed her mom's hand away and fixed the hair that had fallen over her eyes. “I’m n-not embarrassed! I-I'm just surprised is all, it's not every day I walk in on my mom and Eda putting on makeup like a sleepover.”

Once her hair was properly set, Luz raised an eyebrow as Camila continued cleaning up after the mess. Eda leaned to one side and folded her arms as she began the explanation.

“Well, if you recall, most makeup in the Boiling Isles is made with magic ingredients.” Eda raised a finger for each item she rattled off. “Beetle’s blood, dragonwort, mandrake leaves…”

Luz nodded her head. Right before Grom Night, Luz remembered how King helped Eda apply her makeup. At the start of the night, the Owl Lady looked quite dapper with her oversized suit, pink blush, and eyeliner, if not downright handsome. By the end of Grom, however, all the makeup had mysteriously vanished.

“Well, in addition to turning me into an Owl-Beast, the curse feeds off magic. That includes any magic applied to my body.” Eda gestured to her dolled up face and colorful hair. “You know how I said I prefer my natural beauty over putting on fancy-schmancy makeup? Well… that’s only half-true.”

Eda gave a shrug.

“Doesn’t matter if it’s hair dye or plain ol’ lipstick, as long as there is magic in it the curse drains them away in a couple of hours. So I figure, why buy it? I save what little I have for special occasions and cons” The Owl Lady gave a tired chuckle and shook her head. “I even remember this one time… I got a tattoo to spite my parents. Except by the time they noticed, the magic was all gone and the ink nearly vanished.”

Eda smacked her face with a sigh of exasperation. 

“What a waste of 100 Snails…”

“Eda, your makeup isn’t done drying yet!”

“Oh, right. Sorry, Cam!” 

Luz let out a soft gasp. She didn’t know any of this! Why didn’t Eda tell her sooner? If Luz had known, perhaps she could have given Eda a makeover herself, though Luz was even less qualified for the job than her mother. But now wasn’t the time to scold Eda for keeping secrets from her yet again, so Luz let out a playful laugh instead.

“Wow, that's so neat! We just use needles to put the ink into our skin!”

“Hah, gross! And you say the Boiling Isles is a scary place. Earth sounds way more hardcore!”

Pumping her fist for emphasis, Eda wrapped up her little story.

“Well, turns out I had a box full of human makeup someone tossed out, which was apparently stored inside your mom’s room. The stuff isn't made with magic, so it shouldn’t fade after a handful of hours.” With a cheeky grin, Eda threw an arm around Camila's shoulder and pulled her in close. Camila let out a surprised squeak, but she didn’t complain either.

“Your mother is one hell of a lady, Luz. I'm glad I kept you two freeloaders, I haven't felt this great in months!”

Camila chuckled again, wrapped her own arm around Eda, and patted her on the back, “It's not a problem, Eda. You’ve done so much for Luz and me, I just did what I could. There is plenty of this stuff left, and I'll be happy to teach you how to use it too.”

“Yeah, this stuff seems like a pain; it doesn't even fix itself when you make a mistake. And the mascara bottle says ‘no-run.’ Does that mean it used to be runny, or did it run away from you?” Eda let out a chuckle and playfully nuzzled Camila’s neck. “Ah, whatever! Thanks a lot, Cammy, you’re the best. I won't even charge you rent this month!”

“You don't charge us rent at all, _Bruja_.”

“And aren’t I just the sweetest for that?”

Luz chuckled as her two favorite women in the world get along like old friends. If someone told her a year ago that her mom would get along with a real life witch, she’d...

well, she'd probably be super jazzed by the idea, as silly and unrealistic as it was!

Then something clicked. Did Eda just call her mom ‘Cammy?’ And they still had their arms around each other. Eda wasn't exactly a touchy-feely person, she only rarely hugged her and King, but she kept holding Camila close without any sign of discomfort.

Luz’s eyes narrowed slightly as she watched the two women. They kept chatting about makeup, magic, their plans for dinner, and a hundred other things that flew over Luz’s head. Camila and Eda were lost in their own little world, and they were happier than Luz had ever seen them before.

Wait… were her Mom... and Eda...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed that. You may have noticed that this fic has multiple chapters this time! and I have great news, chapters 2 and 3 are done, and ready to be posted, Chapter 4 just needs to be edited, and chapter 5 is about a third of the way done. We wanted this fic to be most of the way finished before posting, so that even if anything went wrong, or we lost motivation to finish it, we could still at least post up rough drafts of what we had planned, but that's far from likely to happen with it so close to completion.


	2. The Second One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the revelation that something might be going on between her mother and Eda, Luz decides to talk it over with her bestest friends in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again with the second chapter. A quick update on the story as a whole, as of last night, the first draft of the final chapter is finished, and ready to enter the editing stages. 
> 
> As for the chapter itself, we worked very hard on it, and hope you enjoy the fruits of that labor.

The Parent (and Mentor) Trap

Chapter 2

Luz Noceda yanked her hair and groaned before burying her face in her hands. 

“Ugh, what am I gonna do?” She whined, and although her voice was muffled, Luz’s friends mostly understood the intent behind her words.

It was the next day, and Luz sat in the Hexside Cafeteria with her friends, Willow and Gus. The human had been stewing in her thoughts since last night, and she wasn’t any closer to understanding these strange feelings bubbling in her gut. Even explaining it to the others didn’t sort them out.

“Are you sure you’re not making a mountain out of a monsterhill? What if you’re seeing things that aren’t really there?” said Willow, rubbing Luz’s shoulder. She occasionally took bites out of her sandwich, because even when Luz was throwing her hysterics around, Willow refused to attend Botany 101 on an empty stomach. 

“Making a mountain out of a…?” Luz shook her head and turned to her friend, her own lunch ignored. “Willow, if you saw what I saw, you wouldn't be saying that. Eda and my mom… they were… they were…!”

“Yes?”

“They were bonding with each other!”

Willow fought the urge to roll her eyes, and was semi-successful. “Oh no, how horrifying. They did that in front of your poor, innocent eyes?”

“Make all the jokes you like, but Eda and my mom were hugging, giggling like crazy, making lovey-dovey faces… they’re clearly madly in love with each other. They just don’t know it yet.”

Luz bit her thumb and let out another groan.

“I wanna be happy for them, and I am, really! But at the same time, this is Eda we're talking about!” Luz shook her head. “The same Eda who, let’s not forget, leaves a trail of broken hearts wherever she goes. Have you met any of Eda's exes, Willow?”

Luz grabbed the witch by the collar and yanked her in close until they were nose-to-nose.

“They're all crazy, Willow!  _ Muy loco! _ And I'm pretty sure they weren't that way before Eda got a hold of them! Eda’s exes either stalk her endlessly until we have Hooty move the house, or they try to kill her and everyone she knows as payback for breaking their hearts! Or both!”

Luz shook her friend back and forth, jostling Willow's glasses until they hung crookedly off her nose. “If Eda and my mom start dating, then break up, she might go nuts too! How would I handle my Mom being love-crazy for my mentor, Willow?”

Letting go of her friend, Luz returned to her lunch tray and picked at what appeared to be orange mashed potatoes moodily. She didn’t notice Willow readjust her glasses and huff under her breath.

“At the same time, they looked so happy yesterday. I can’t remember the last time my mom smiled so much...” 

The human flicked a pea on the tray as her mood slightly brightened. “... but you know Eda… she’s not exactly the ‘touchy-feely’ type. Once she’s had her fill of someone, she just kinda… stops trying. No wonder her relationships go sour…”

With a sharp jab, Luz speared the pea with her fork and took a bite. It popped in her mouth, and Luz took another minute before taking another bite. The cloud of moodiness hanging over her head was almost visible.

“... but what if they’re soulmates? What if Eda found her perfect match, the one woman who she’d fight through hell to protect? Shouldn’t I be happy for her?” Luz stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry. “It’s been forever since my mom dated anyone, so of course I’d want her girlfriend to be someone as crazy awesome as Eda!”

Luz scooped a spoonful of purple goo that looked like an Abomination chunk and shovelled it into her mouth. It tasted sweet and sour, not unlike plum pudding, and Luz privately hoped that’s what it was. She cast her gaze at her friend Gus, who sat opposite of her and Willow. 

“Whadu oo thin', Gu?”

Gus, for the most part, was trying to contain his excitement. When Luz finally addressed him, Gus lost the last scrap of his self-control and bounced in his seat, a piece of mystery meat hanging off his fork.

“Are you kidding me? They should go for it! As far as we know, this could be the first human/witch relationship to ever happen on the Isles.” Gus stood in his seat, gesturing wildly as his volume rose with his jubilance. “This could be history in the making! And I could be there to witness it!”

Gus tried and failed to contain his squeals, bouncing from foot to foot on the bench with the coordination of a professional dancer. Other students gave him weird looks, and Willow tried to pull Gus back down into his seat, but the young witch-boy would not be denied.

“If another portal to the Human Realm is ever established, this could drastically improve Witch-Human relations! Maybe if we cleaved our worlds together… no, that sounds stupid… but think of the cultural exchange? Think of all the knowledge humans and witches could share, and all because Eda and your Mom took that first brave step!”

He came to a sudden stop, for what Luz assumed was a breath, then Gus’ eyes widened and he let out a hoarse gasp.

“Do you think they could make a human/witch hybrid together? Can I be the godfather? Can I watch!?”

Luz nearly choked on her lunch, then opened her mouth to say some most unkind things to her young friend, but Willow quickly took her by the shoulder. 

“Gus didn’t mean it like that! Come on, Luz, as if Gus would ever know about the Griffons-and-the-Hippogriffs.” Willow playfully smirked and rolled her eyes. “No one wants to shatter his innocence like that.”

“Is that like the birds-and-the-bees?” Luz asked.

“The birds and the what now?” Gus said, tilting his head to the side. “Is that a human expression? What does that mean?”

Willow ignored Gus and patted Luz’s back, who still had some food clogging her windpipe. 

“Believe it or not, Gus was referring to a magic ritual. When witches cannot conceive the, er, ‘other way,’ we use a ritual to make more witches.” Willow smiled proudly and put her hands on her hips. “That’s how my Dads made me, after all!”

Once Luz cleared her throat, she turned to her friend in awe with stars in her eyes. “... I always knew there was something magical about you, Willow. Er, aside from the whole ‘being a witch’ thing.”

With her heart racing, Luz balled her hands into fists and let out an excited squeal.

“I had no idea that was possible! Magic keeps getting more amazing by the day!” Luz pursed her lips as a bitter truth struck her. “Would it work for my mom and Eda though? Neither of them can use magic. Could we use enchanted items as ingredients, or have another witch help us? Would make them a surrogate parent? I don’t know how it works… but being a big sister would be so cool!”

Willow let out a giggle. Luz’s kind words were flattering, and as always, her pure joy for magic made an everyday fact-of-life feel fresh and exhilarating. It was hard to not be swept up in Luz’s pace, to be infected with her excitement. Most of the time, Willow didn’t resist it, but right now, she had to play the voice of reason.

“Thanks, Luz. Before you get attached to any hypothetical siblings, however, maybe you should take a step back and analyze the situation? This is a matter between your mom and Eda, not you: it should be up to them whether or not they wanna date.”

“I still say they should get together!” Gus chimed in, but quickly silenced himself at Willow's glare. Once Gus was put back in his place, Willow smiled at Luz again.

“They’re both adults, and who knows their hearts better than them? You’re uncertain about what will happen if they date: maybe they’ll fall in love and get married, maybe they’ll break up, who knows?” Willow put a hand on Luz’s shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze with the kindest, gentlest smile she could muster. “Either way, it's best not to meddle, okay?”

“Maybe you're right. This isn't my problem to fix, so I shouldn’t worry so much. But I’m positive romance is in the air.“ Luz wrapped her fingers around her eyes and squinted dramatically. “Nothing gets past these peepers, Willow! These shipping goggles are made of the purest hopes and dreams, nothing escapes their notice!”

Willow playfully rolled her eyes. She didn’t mention how those same ‘shipping goggles’ failed to notice how Amity Blight spent the whole lunch period staring at her, or the pink blush on the green-witch’s cheeks even as Skara rambled on-and-on to Amity a few tables down...

* * *

Later that day, Luz made her way home from school. Her mother was still at work, Eda was running the trash stall, and Lilith was out job-hunting, if only to escape Eda’s constant pranks when they manned the Human Collectibles stand.

As usual, King and Hooty were at home. That was a dangerous combination, because there was no telling what trouble those two demons could cause. So, after greeting Hooty at the door and distracting him with a toy mouse, Luz lured King upstairs with the promise of a portrait painting. It had been a while since she got to practice her craft, and of course King was eager to feed his ego.

“When I rule over these Isles, I shall make you my Royal Artist for recognizing my greatness!” said King with one of his itty-bitty paws raised. He was posed in an intimidating, yet noble manner, until he whipped his head around. “Hey, make sure to get my good side!”

With a teasing smile on her lips, Luz said, “I thought all your sides were good?”

This made King pause, then he nodded. “You’re right, I’m amazing from head-to-claw! Carry on, my astute subject!”

Luz continued to sketch the bone-headed demon, taking extra care to cross-hatch around the eyes. Before she could accentuate his fluffy tail, however, Luz’s pencil snapped. She glared daggers at the tip, wondering how such a loyal pencil could betray her like this, then looked for the pencil sharpener in her arts-and-crafts box.

Sadly, no matter how much Luz dug around, she couldn’t find it anywhere. She gave the demon a small frown. “Hey, King? Have you seen my sharpener? It’s this little plastic square with a small hole on one end and a razor blade.”

“Wait, that wasn’t a horn sharpener?” said King, raising an eyebrow. The demon then balked and darted his eyes this way and that. “Uh, I mean, nope. Never seen it before. Who even has horns? Hahaha…”

King quickly hopped down from the pile of stuffed animals he claimed as his ‘throne of bones’ and raced to the door.

“You’ve captured enough of my greatness today. I’m just gonna go and not find your sharpener, which again, I’ve never seen before. Because I didn’t touch it! At all!” With that, the demon scampered down the hallway on all fours, undoubtedly to find the sharpener in the little cranny under the stairs where he kept all his stolen knicknacks.

Luz groaned, but decided it was as good a time as any to wrap it up. The adults should be home by now, and it was Lilith’s turn to cook dinner. After throwing her tools back into her art box, Luz headed downstairs to greet everyone.

Before she reached the bottom step, however, Luz’s eyes bugged out of her skull at the spectacle in the living room.

There, sitting on the couch, was Eda the Owl Lady. Eda was as dolled up as yesterday, though she was back in her normal red dress. Her hair was poofier as well, since she stuffed her tools and other goods inside the orange mane. It was solid proof that while Eda valued her looks, she was a practical woman at heart.

But it wasn’t Eda being the hottest thing since sliced bread that made Luz freeze. It was the fact that next to Eda, cuddling up with the Owl Lady, was her mother, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 

Luz thought there was a spark before, but she had no idea they were already onto cuddling. What’s next, hand holding in public? Sharing their darkest secrets? Whispering sweet nothings before bed? K-k-kissing…?

“I really don’t get it,” Eda muttered, her voice faint at this distance. Luz crept closer to the pair, doing her best to hide her presence.

“Neither do I,” replied Camila. What were they talking about? Were they… trying to cuddle, and not getting the point? If so, Luz thought that was kind of sad.

“Then why are we watching this?” said Eda. The Owl Lady tilted her head to the side, her head leaning against Camila’s.

Wait, what? What did they mean by ‘watching?’

Taking a step closer, Luz peered over the two women’s shoulders. To her surprise, her mother held Luz’s phone in her hands, which was partially covered in dust.

“I’m watching it because I felt homesick, and this is the only show downloaded onto Luz’s phone. You’re watching it because you’re bored, and don’t want to help the  _ bruja _ with dinner,” said Camila, snarking back playfully.

Oh. So they weren’t cuddling, but watching a TV show? That was… severely disappointing.

As a matter of fact, now that she stood closer, Luz could hear the familiar sounds of the TV drama, ‘Suspicion Island.’ If Luz was honest, the show had gone downhill last season, and she never finished it. Everyone suddenly started suspecting Bobby, even though he was the least suspicious character! Talk about jumping the shark.

Before Luz could think much further, Camila felt Luz’s presence over her shoulder, turned around, and smiled at her daughter. Her finger tapped the pause button on the phone, cutting out Matthew and Laurence’s duel to the death over a lava pit while Tiffany was chased by Velociraptors riding motorcycles.

“Ah,  _ Mija! _ There you are. How was school?”

Camila handed the phone to Eda, who immediately pressed the play button again. Under her breath, Eda said, “I said I didn’t get it, not that I was done watching it…”

“Uh, I’m okay,  _ mami _ . I was just sketching out King. He managed to stay still for a whole ten minutes this time. Er, what were you doing?” Luz probed, carefully watching her mother’s face in case she betrayed any hint, any sign that her close proximity with Eda was anything but innocent.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I used your phone without asking. But you haven’t touched it since you got that new fancy Scroll.” Camila patted Luz’s head and gave an apologetic look. “I’ll make sure to ask next time. Though I have to ask… why do you watch junk shows like ‘Suspicion Island’ anyways?”

“Yeah, this show is terrible.” Eda nodded, her eyes not leaving the screen for a second. She reached into a nearby snack bowl and crammed popcorn into her mouth. “So why can I not look away...?”

“It’s not junk, if you watch up to season 3, you’ll find out that Bradley…” Luz stopped herself, then brightly smiled at her mother. Perhaps a bit too brightly. “I mean, you… enjoy your time with Eda, mami. I need to make a call.”

“ _ It’s worse than I feared _ ,” Luz thought, charging down the hallway and slamming the bedroom door behind her. “ _ They’re both utterly clueless! How can they not sense the romantic tension in the air? I’m gonna need help on this one _ !”

What Luz needed was a friend who would listen. She couldn’t call Willow, she already told her to leave it alone, and Gus would surely blab to Willow, he was terrible at keeping secrets. Thankfully, Luz knew a witch who got stuff done, a witch with a plan, a witch who knew how to keep a secret. Surely Luz could rely on her very best friend!

* * *

It was quiet that evening in Blight Manor. Mr. and Mrs. Blight were attending yet another charity social, flaunting their ‘generosity’ in front of their snobby friends. The twins were hanging out with their friends, either pranking someone or setting fires across the Isles. Most of the servants had gone home, save for a few maids and the butler. For all intents and purposes, Blight Manor was empty, or as empty as it ever would be.

This gave Amity Blight the perfect opportunity to relax, and in the comfort of her bedroom, she studied for next week’s Abomination test. She would likely ace it even without the studying, but it never hurt to brush up, just in case.

The soft glow of floating candles lit up the room, and flipping through the pages, Amity’s eyes roved over her notes, which were written in perfect cursive. The only thing that could improve this evening was a plate of cookies and some milk, as well as a certain human at her side, asking Amity for help as her study buddy.

“Hey, Amity! What’s the best recipe for making Abominations?”

“Amity, watch this new trick I can do!”

“Gee, Amity, are you wearing perfume? You smell awfully good today!”

“Amity… do you believe love can bloom during exam week?” 

Just imagining Luz saying something like that made Amity feel all warm and gooey inside, and a dopey grin filled her face. Even if they were friends now, Amity hoped she and Luz could be closer some day, whenever she stopped being so oblivious and could take a hint, or if Amity herself could stop being such a coward and finally confessed.

Once the burning in her cheeks died down, Amity pulled her hands away and caught a glance of herself in her vanity mirror. A smile crossed her face.

Amity called herself a coward, but ever since she met Luz, the green-haired witch felt more brave. It was infectious, really: when confronted by someone as unapologetically authentic as Luz Noceda, it seemed silly to hide behind smoke and mirrors, to care about things like ‘respectability’ and ‘the family image' above her own happiness and the happiness of the people she cared for.

For the first since she was six, Amity’s natural brown hair was visible at more than just the roots, edging outwards every day in bold defiance to her mother’s wishes. Her hair had grown out as well, the wavy locks reaching her shoulders. Luz insisted that the brown mixed with the green made Amity’s hair look like emerald fire, and hearing that made her heart skip a beat.

“I don’t know if I’d call it fiery,” said Amity, twirling a lock between her fingers. “But… I do look nice…”

Amity even changed her wardrobe; whenever she wasn't bound by the constraints of her school uniform, Amity wore clothes that Luz described as ‘punk,’ with studded bracelets, a black leather necklace, and tattered shirts emblazoned with the names of her favorite black magic bands. When Luz asked who the ‘Red Night’ were, Amity took the human to one of their concerts, and once their ears stopped ringing, Luz said she had a great time.

It was one of the best nights of Amity’s life.

There wasn’t a whole lot her parents could do about her changes either. Amity wasn’t a little kid who was afraid to call their bluffs anymore. Which is exactly what she did when they found out she was friends with Luz, and had threatened to kick the human out of Hexside.

The threat had scared Amity stiffless at first, and she’d almost contemplated cutting Luz out of her life, if only so their friendship didn’t ruin Luz’s dreams of becoming a great witch. Then Amity remembered who her parents needed to approach to throw Luz out. After all, they were threatening Luz Noceda, the first human to ever attend Hexisde, the first student in its history to take every single magical course, and someone who had Principle Bump, the man in charge of Banishments, in her corner.

Bump wasn’t about to kick out one of his star students. Sure, Luz caused some trouble, but never on purpose like Eda had before her. Luz showed a lot of promise, kept up with her absolutely insane workload, and got decent grades despite it all. It was because of this little experiment that allowed other students to learn multiple tracks as well. Removing Luz would be a blemish on this system and Hexside’s history, and if there was one thing Bump valued above his students, it was maintaining Hexside’s prestige. 

Not only that, Bump was a powerful man, who brushed shoulders with equally powerful people. While Bump lacked wealth, he had taught several generations of witches, which meant he had the respect of every social class. He was not someone who bent to the whims of people he knew before they could cast a spell circle; if anything, they did favors for him. It was, after all, how he’d managed to allow Hexside to circumvent the Coven System in the first place and create multi-track students. 

To a man like Principal Bump, Mr and Mrs. Blight had no power over him in the slightest.

It was with this realization that Amity learned how hollow her parents’ threat against Willow was too. Amity was simply too young to understand that her parents weren't the most powerful people in the world.

Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Blight were rich and powerful. They were very controlling, but there was only so much they could do to reign in Amity. It was difficult to ground a witch who had an 8 foot tall Abomination at her beck and call; it was even harder to lock said witch in her room. 

Even being kicked out of Blight Manor would send shockwaves throughout her parents’ social circles. Appearances were everything to people of the Blight’s social standing, and if Amity was thrown on the streets, Mr. and Mrs. Blight would look like fools who couldn’t control one measly teenager. As such, the Blights were forced to go along with Amity’s changes, if only to pretend they were lenient and progressive parents who accepted their daughter no matter what.

After testing the waters with her appearance, Amity found a steady groove: while Mrs. Blight was furious with every new change, Mr. Blight seemed to quietly accept Amity’s lifestyle choices, if only because he believed it was a ‘phase.’

In a rare act of decency, Amity’s father confided in her that once upon a time, he’d been a ‘rebellious teenager’ too. That’s why he turned a blind eye to the Twin’s pranks, since they apparently inherited his mischievous sense of humor. At the end of the conversation, however, Alador told Amity that one day, she needed to grow up and put duty and the family name first, just as he had, and just as he expected from the Twins.

Amity didn’t really intend to make good on her ‘promise,’ but as long as it kept her father off her back, she’d humor him until she was old enough to move out. Between giving up the people and things she loved, and living a life of cold stoicism and rich elitism, life as a Blight had little appeal to Amity.

Now life as a Noceda, on the other hand…

Amity’s cheeks glowed rose red at the thought, realizing she’d let her mind wander too much. Smacking her cheeks to refocus her attention, Amity returned to her notes and continued reading, only to stop dead when her Scroll suddenly rang.

Reaching for her Scroll, Amity expected to see Skara’s name light up on the screen. Ever since she started making her own friends, Amity reevaluated the relationships her parents forced upon her. While people like Boscha were toxic and barred from her life and blocked on her scroll and penstagram, Amity realized that Skara was an all-around decent girl; if Amity had only put in the actual effort to learn about her, she would have known that Skara loved music, cared for her younger siblings while her parents gallivanted around with other rich people, and had a flame salamander named Lily for a pet.

Amity decided after she got the chance to see how she treated the people outside her friend group, namely how she treated Luz and Willow after the Grudgby match all those months ago, that Skara deserved a second chance, and since then began a genuine friendship with the girl she'd grown up forced to be beside.

“I wonder what Skara wants?” thought Amity. She gave a small smile. “She probably wants to know if I convinced Willow to join the Banshees yet. That girl, seriously… if she keeps propositioning Willow, she’s gonna get the wrong idea…”

When Amity’s eyes fell on the Scroll, however, she saw a familiar picture of Luz instead, with the human sticking her tongue out and giving a victory sign. All thoughts of her parents and Skara fled Amity’s mind, and accepting the call, Amity gripped the Scroll so hard that it nearly snapped in her hand.

“Yes, Hello?!” She answered nervously, a little louder than she had intended. Why did she always have to be this way whenever Luz was around?

“Hi Amity! Are you doing anything important right now?” Luz’s voice greeted her, and Amity could already feel her face heating up. She was so glad Ed and Em weren’t here, if Luz had called while they had been around, she’d get so much teasing, and those two terrors wouldn’t even wait until she was off the scroll to do it.

Amity spared a glance at the open textbook and notes on her desk, and without hesitation the green-haired witch swept them off like so much garbage, sending them clattering loudly to the floor in a way that she hoped wouldn't be picked up by her scroll.

“Nope, not a thing, I am totally free right now.” Amity cleared her throat and placed her elbows on the desk with a pained, lovesick grin. “Wh-what do you need, how can I help you?”

Luz sighed on the other line.

“Oh, good. I’d hate to interrupt you while you were, like, studying for next week’s test or something.” Luz paused for a moment, then spoke in an awkward tone. “Okay, this might sound weird, but can you tell me what’s the most romantic event people can do on the Isles?”

Amity’s heart skipped a beat. Oh Titan, was this actually happening? Was Luz finally asking her out? Amity’s brain melted into goo as she desperately thought of something, anything romantic the two of them could do together.

Finally, a recent memory flashed before Amity’s eyes, and she mentally thanked Skara for the idea.

“Thirteenth Night!” Amity exclaimed excitedly. “It’s a famous play written by the founder of the Bard Coven, Wilbert Spearshaker! I hear it’s one of the biggest romantic evenings you can plan for a date!”

Admittedly, Amity couldn’t care less about drama or the theater, but Skara wouldn’t shut up about it at lunch today. The Spearshaker acting troupe only performed it every few years, and as a member of the Bard Track, Skara saw it last night. It was like a dream come true for the girl, and one day, Skara wanted a starring role in the performance

“Really? That sounds so cool! And old fashioned! I guess that’s your guys’ equivalent to a romcom at a movie theater, huh? Are there any showings for it anytime soon?”

Amity had absolutely no idea what a ‘romcom’ or ‘movie’ was, but she nodded her head anyways. The green-haired witch was so head-over-heels that she would have agreed to torching the Emperor’s Castle tonight if it made Luz happy.

“Absolutely! Skara told me that there’s one final showing tomorrow!” Amity trembled as her body grew warm. This was it, she was gonna melt, Amity Blight was going to be reduced to a puddle. They’d need to bring the head of the Abomination Coven around to her house to reanimate her, because she was going on a date with Luz in only a day's time!

“Tomorrow? Dang, that’s so soon! This might be asking a lot, but do you think you could get some tickets, Amity? Pretty please with sugar on top?”

“ _ For you, my love, anything _ !” Amity thought to herself, gripping her desk so much that her fingers left grooves the wood. This was a dream come true, an absolute miracle, utter bliss!

With considerably more chill than she felt, Amity playfully rolled her eyes and nodded her head. “Are you kidding, a chance to spend my parents money on something they wouldn’t approve of? Of course I can get you those tickets.”

“Great! I’ll need four!”

If Amity’s heart was a record player, it just skipped on its track. “Wait, what?”

“Oh yeah, you weren’t there for lunch today. Well, there is totally something going on between Eda and my Mom. They’re positively crazy for each other! Willow told me to leave it alone, but they’re so oblivious about each other's feelings that it hurts!” Amity understood the feeling, and did not appreciate the irony. “Anyway, I decided I couldn't sit around and do nothing, so a super romantic night of antics to get them together is the plan!”

Luz’s excitement was palpable, but her tone quickly sobered. “Please don’t tell Willow? I didn’t even last half a day before going back on my word.”

The disappointment in Amity’s chest grew heavy like a lead weight, but she gave a weak chuckle anyways. If there was one thing Amity couldn’t stand, it was disappointing her favorite human.

“... Okay, I’ll hand them off to you first thing tomorrow morning.” Amity bit her lip, and with a touch of frustration in her voice, she said, “But you’ll owe me for this!”

“I'll add it to the not-inconsiderably-large list of favors. Thanks, Ams, you’re the best!” And as if to pour lighter fluid on the fire that raged in Amity’s heart, Luz made a kissy noise before hanging up.

With her ears burning with flustered feelings, Amity clutched her chest, her heart hammering against the ribcage as if it wanted to escape and fly to Luz’s side. The taste of dashed hopes was bitter on Amity’s tongue, and she swore that one day she’d pay Luz back for all these months of frustration. At the same time, if it made Luz happy, Amity would absolutely have those tickets by tomorrow, come hell or high boiling water.

“... that idiot is gonna be the death of me,” Amity said, making a goofy smile as she buried her face in her hands and let out a tired groan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amity is a very fun character to write. I was really worried about how she'd be to write for, but it came a lot more naturally than I thought. She's just such a sap.
> 
> I hope no one is disappointed that we only glossed over her home life here. We had a slightly different take on that section, but it was too different tonally from the rest of the story to really fit in.
> 
> As for Luz, well, I hope you're ready for her day at the theater, because next chapter is the longest chapter in this fic, if not the entire series. Expect that to be posted in about 4-5 days, to give us time to prepare chapter 4 and get it through the editing process.


	3. The Third One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gemini here, once again with a new chapter! Funny story, this was supposed to go up yesterday! I just totally forgot. Oops?
> 
> Me and Raphael worked real hard on this one. The amount of work that went into this chapter alone was probably more than the other 4 chapters combined, so we hope you enjoy!

Luz’s morning was a busy one. The second her alarm clock went off, the young human hopped out of bed, found something presentable to wear for the show, and ran to school to meet with Amity early. Not even the weight of exhaustion slowed Luz down, because all last night, she tossed and turned from the sheer excitement bubbling in her mind.

Her otter outfit was a definite no. After Luz’s growth spurt, the suit no longer fit her, but Luz didn’t have the heart to throw out something so adorable. Maybe Gus would want it? He still had some growing before he’d be too big for it, and he’d love to have a costume based on a creature from the Human Realm. 

At the same time, she didn't want to reuse her Grom outfit, since it was too nostalgic of that magical night. Ultimately, Luz picked a white tuxedo with a purple undershirt and blacktie. Sure, the pants were off-white, the tuxedo spotted with coffee stains, and the bowtie meant for someone twice Luz’s size, but Luz felt handsome and uppercrusty, which was all that mattered.

Once Hexside came into view, Luz slowed her sprint down to a walk and hummed merrily under her breath, her infectious good mood radiating off her and onto everyone she passed. She waved to a few friends, including the nervous Jerbo and the canine-witch Barcus.

When Luz passed through the gate, a familiar voice called out. “My my my, did the sun come out, or is that just your smile?”

When Luz turned around, she saw Amity leaning against the backside of the gate. With a smirk, Amity flicked her wrist and four tickets flashed into her hand like a fan. Even at this distance, Luz could make out the words ‘Thirteenth Night’ embossed in gold lettering. 

The young human let out a high-pitched squeal, to the irritation of the handful of other early bird students who happened to be in the area.

“Thank you thank you thank you so much, Amity! You have no idea how much this means to me!” Running over to her friend, Luz embraced Amity in a bone-crushing hug, causing the witch’s cheeks to burn like wildfire.

“I-it’s no problem, Luz.” Amity squeaked out, making no attempts to escape the hug despite the physical discomfort it put her under. Luz really didn’t know her own strength sometimes. If anything, Amity was leaning into it harder the longer it went on.

  
  


“Still, I owe you big time. I bet these were a pain to get, especially on such short notice. I’ll make it up to you, I promise!” With that, Luz planted a light kiss of gratitude on Amity’s cheek

Amity’s jaw fell open and her face went beet-red. If this was anyone else, Amity would have sworn her heart was being played with, but this was Luz: the young human was too kind and oblivious to torment her like that. 

“Trust me, Luz, you’ve more than made up for it already.” Amity chuckled as they finally parted and she composed herself. Without further ado, she headed for class, but not without a backward glance and a cute half-wave over her shoulder. Luz waved back, feeling very confused. How did she make up for it already?

The school day passed by in a blur. Luz kept her evening plans a secret from her friends, for fear that Willow would catch wind of Gus’ bubbly excitement and scold her for meddling in her mother’s love life. Sometime after the third period, Luz passed by Skara and Boscha in the halls, and gave the bard a friendly smile and wave. This made Boscha’s eyebrows raise sky high, and the three-eyed witch chewed Luz out for ‘trying to steal her other friends.’ 

That was the only bump in the road though, and overall, Luz enjoyed another magical day at Hexside. And before she knew it, she was packing up her bag until it looked ready to burst, and she walked home with a skip in her step. It was funny how quickly it had gone from being just “The Owl House” to being home to her, but it’s where her family lived together, and just thinking of their smiling faces filled her with happy giggles.

Luz was in such a good mood when she arrived home, she even played with Hooty for a while. She let him blather on and on, roll around in the mud, and make a real nuisance of himself. She only backed out once Hooty ate a bunch of beetles, and with a grimace, Luz quickly excused herself.

“Well, it’s been fun, Hooty! But I, uh, got a lot of homework to do!” said Luz, flicking a stray beetle leg off her cheek. The House Demon let out a disappointed whine, but he opened the door anyways.

“Thanks for listening, Luz! Not everyone gives this old bird the time of day, hoot hoot!” said Hooty with a grateful smile.

Once the door snapped shut behind her, Luz let out a deep sigh. She then perked up, found her good mood again, and called out.

“Hello, Owl Fam!” Luz put a hand to her mouth as she casually dropped her bookbag to the floor. “I have great news!”

“Did you pass today’s test?” Camila said, her head popping out from the kitchen. Luz grimaced internally: she did pass the Illusions test, but just barely. If Gus hadn’t waggled his eyebrows while the teacher reviewed her illusion, Luz wouldn’t have noticed that her illusion was too off-model, and she would have certainly failed. That would have put a damper on tonight’s plan.

“Er, yes?” said Luz, nervously rubbing her neck. 

“Did you bring me cupcakes?” King hollered from the top of the stairs, bounding down them as fast as his little legs could carry him. He hopped into Luz’s arms like an excitable puppy, his yellow eyes filled with stars.

“Um, well…”

“Did you bump into a rich, near-blind merchant and pickpocket him? Then convince him you’re his long-lost granddaughter and inherit his fortune?” Eda’s head poked out of the kitchen door, just above Luz’s mom’s head. A mug of appleblood was clenched in her hand. 

“None of the above! Well, except that test, Mom.” With a proud grin, Luz whipped out the tickets for all to see. “Tada! I got us free tickets to the famous play, Thirteenth Night!”

“Oh boy! Free entertainment! That’s the best kind!” King cheered, then reached out for the tickets with his tiny claws. “Gimme gimme, I wanna see!”

Luz handed King his ticket, who hopped out of her arms. The demon studied the ticket for a moment, then blew a raspberry and threw it over his shoulder. 

“Pffft, lame! This is about a bunch of fancy-schmancy old-timey people who wear frills all the time and who say ‘thee’ and thou.’. Who’d want to see that?”

A frown crossed Luz’s face. She hoped King would tag along so as to not arouse suspicion; if she only had two tickets and gave them to Eda and her mom, they might think it was too convenient. Eda was a trickster by nature, so she was the biggest hurdle of all, so Luz couldn’t stumble on King of all people.

Before Luz could correct the demon, however, Camila walked out of the kitchen and picked up King’s abandoned ticket. 

“‘Thirteenth Night, a play by Wilbert Spearshaker?’” Camila’s brow scrunched up as she read the ticket aloud. “That sounds awfully… familiar. It reminds me of my high school literature class for some reason...”

Like a sly fox, Eda effortlessly snatched the ticket out of Camila’s hand. The witch took one look at the ticket’s venue and gave a low whistle. “Wow, kid! Where in the world did you snag these? Tickets at the World’s Theatre cost more than what I earn legally in a month! Must have cost someone a pretty penny.”

Licking her lips nervously, Luz spilled out the fib she was saving for just this occasion. 

“Well, uh, Amity gave them to me! Her family was gonna see it, but they had to cancel because her dad got, uh... hit by a carriage?”

The living room went dead silent. Luz feared they didn’t buy the fib; like the best lies, it was partially true, but the stony silence made her sweat. Perhaps she should call Amity to back up her statement?

But before Luz could pull out her Scroll, Eda broke out into a deep guffaw, which quickly turned into her doubling over from laughter. “Wait wait wait! Old Alador Blight got run over by some fancy carriage? And I missed it? Did he break anything? For the love of Titan, please tell me he broke something!”

“Eda!” Camila scolded, placing her hands on her hips. “You shouldn't wish ill on someone you barely know. You’re setting a bad example for Luz!”

Bending down, Camila scooped up King and cradled him like a baby. She put a hand over where she thought the demon’s right ear might be. “And King, such a terrible example set for King. You know we’ve been working on his megalomaniacal tendencies! Isn’t he crazy enough?”

“Daw, you’re not half-bad yourself, Mrs. Luz’s Mom!” King said, waggling his furry tail with delight.

Still chuckling, Eda wiped a mirthful tear from an eye. “Oh relax, Cam! I know Alador well enough. He was a brat back when I went to Hexside. Stick the size of his staff shoved up his backside, a tattle-tell, and a two-faced troublemaker who never owned up to his own stupid pranks.”

Eda rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“Unlike me, that bored rich kid never took pride in the chaos he sowed. Always pinned the blame on me or whatever sorry loser was nearby. Meant I had to work overtime so my prankster career wasn’t sullied by talentless hacks like him!” Eda let out another laugh as her eyes filled with fond memories. “Why, I remember the time I put Emerald Leeches in his underwear. They turned that brat’s butt into swiss cheese.”

Looking between Eda and her mother, Luz gripped the tickets tightly. “So, does that mean you don't want to go if these were his tickets?” 

“Ha, no! We're going! We're all going!” Eda snatched the tickets from Luz and tucked them into her shirt for safekeeping. “This place will be crawling with the wealthiest witches on the Isles, all dressed to the nines. They'll be distracted by a prissy show, oblivious to anyone eyeing their precious jewels and pearls.”

The Owl Lady spread her arms out wide in a dramatic fashion. “It's the perfect time to rob those jerks and the no-good high society folk blind! And better yet, it'll be done on ol' Aldy’s dime! Can you imagine a prank sweeter than that?”

While that wasn’t exactly what Luz planned for the evening, it was a chance to get Eda into the venue, so she didn’t look a gift troll in the mouth. Luz just needed to adjust her plan to include Eda sneaking among the crowd, pilfering family jewels from the purses of powder wigged idiots. 

Camila let out a sigh and pinched her brow. Everyone knew that once Eda picked up momentum, there was no talking her out of a scheme, no matter how dangerous or hare-brained it was. As the only reasonable adult in the household, it was up to Camila to keep Eda out of trouble.

… that, and she was legitimately curious about this play. Why did the ‘Thirteenth Night’ sound so familiar? 

“Well, we'd better get ready then. If it's tonight, that doesn’t leave us much time to prepare.” Camila raised an eyebrow. “Should I tell Lilith we're all going?”

Luz hadn't forgotten about Lilith. She purposely left her out, since it was clear that Lilith and her Mom didn't get along for whatever reason. Things weren't as bad as when her mother first arrived, but Luz didn’t want to risk sitting the two women together.

“Actually, we only have four tickets.”

“Four?” Eda cocked an eyebrow. “Aren't there five Blights?”

“Uh… Amity’s dad... accidentally swallowed the last ticket when he got hit by the carriage?”

That just led to another hysterical outburst of laughter from Eda.

* * *

Luz kicked her legs back and forth in the seat. Even after her growth spurt, her feet didn’t reach the ground, so these chairs were clearly made for full grown witches. That didn’t matter right now, because everything was according to plan, and if it wasn’t for the fact it would disturb the dapper gentledemon beside her, Luz might have hummed a tune.

In the seat to Luz’s left was King. The demon’s idea for a fancy outfit was a brightly colored, obnoxiously patterned tie in place of his collar, and nothing else. He was clearly running low on patience, sitting with his arms crossed. Ever since he'd learned that there was no snack bar, King had been grumpy, and he was even grumpier that once the play started, he’d have to stand in his seat to see anything.

To Luz’s far left sat Camila, who wore a white shirt with black pants. Across her shoulders was a green jacket with a flower pattern that put Luz in mind of an oil painting. While the outfit wasn’t regal or expensive, it flattered Camila’s figure and fit the spring seasonNever before had Luz found Eda lost for words, but Eda practically tripped over herself when she saw her mother’s pretty outfit. 

And wedged between Camila and King sat Eda, whose giddy mood had dissolved with her arms crossed to match King. She’d been relegated to the middle of the aisle, preventing the Owl Lady from pickpocketing everyone who sat beside her. Understandably, Eda wasn’t taking it well.

“Talk about ungrateful. I take us out on a night on the town, and this is how you repay me? Really, Cam?” said Eda with a grumble, shaking her head. 

“You took us out?” Camila arched an eyebrow, humor lacing her voice. “I thought it was dear ol’ ‘Aldy’ who took us out? On his dime, no less?”

“Don’t use your fancy logic on me, Cam. I’m too smart for it. Don’t forget, I dropped out of high school.”

“Oh, really? Try spending four years earning a nursing degree. Without the aid of magic. We’ll talk then.”

“... you win this round, you clever minx.”

Luz stifled a giggle. Her favorite women in the world were too cute together. But as silly as this was, Luz was worried; at this rate, the mood would never become romantic.

Thankfully, Luz didn’t need to worry for long, because the theater lights began to dim and a spotlight flared into life, shining onto the center stage. The curtains were drawn back, revealing a man in puffy trousers and tights. He gave the audience a bow, standing to the far left of the stage.

The show was about to begin.

The Narrator told the tale of the identical twins, Bastion and Violin. Both were beautiful and handsome, and with a flicker of their emerald hair and mischievous grins, Luz was reminded of two other witches and the flustered feelings that came with them. 

The twins were out at sea, traveling to far and distant lands before their ship was smashed by a Kraken. Shipwrecked on the Boiling Seas and separated, the siblings believed the other boiled alive and bemoaned their twin’s fate. As the Narrator went on, two actors stepped onto the stage and pantomimed the whole ordeal.

Once the opening scene was over, the play shifted focus onto Violin, who acted her heart out. Disguising herself as a man, Violin worked under a local duke named Borsalino, who was madly in love with Lady Oblivia. Lady Oblivia, however, had no interest in him, which put Borsalino in a deep depression. In time, Violin grew to love Borsalino, but he only had eyes for Lady Oblivia. 

His heart broken, Borsalino sent Violin as a messenger to Lady Oblivia, and in her attempts to woo Oblivia for Borsalino’s sake, the lady fell in love with Violin instead. From there, everything spiraled into a hilarious love triangle, which only got worse when Bastion returned, miraculously alive and well. They were never in the same place at the same time, and Bastion was even mistaken for Violin. 

As the play continued and the romantic misunderstandings piled up, Luz was almost shocked by the amount of jokes thrown at her. For one thing, she actually understood half the puns! No wonder Amity suggested this, it really was the Boiling Isles’ equivalent to a rom-com movie!

By the time the second act rolled around, Luz pulled her attention from the show and glanced at her compatriots. At some point, King had scaled his seat and now sat on the headrest, giving himself a vantage point to actually watch the show. He looked on, utterly entranced. Luz wondered if he understood half of what was said, because as much as Luz was engaged with the plot and actors, entire conversations flew over her head because of the ridiculously archaic way they spoke.

Fighting the urge to ask King this, Luz instead focused on her real mission, looking past the adorable demon and checking on her Mom and Eda.

Her Mom seemed to be enjoying the show. Every time someone cracked a joke or someone tumbled on their butt, she laughed, and Camila cooed over the many, many, many love triangles.

That wasn’t the biggest surprise, however, because even Eda was enjoying herself. Sure, her arms were still crossed and she still wore a sour frown, but Eda let out the occasional snort and there was a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. It reminded Luz of the time she participated in an eating contest: Eda thought the whole thing was stupid, but she was proud to see her apprentice tuck away so much food.

This was going better than Luz dared to dream! She knew that rom-coms were the way to a woman’s heart! It was like all of Luz’s fanfics were coming true! Still, it was time to activate Stage Two of her plan: give Eda and her Mom some alone time! Kids and demons killed the mood for romance, after all. If those two weren’t snuggling by the third act, this plan was dead in the water!

Quietly rising from her seat, Luz scooped up King and clamped a hand over his mouth before a single syllable spewed out. The young human gave the demon a firm look.

“Shhh, just follow my lead, okay?” She whispered as the self-proclaimed King of All Demons flailed in her grasp like a toddler. 

She sidestepped through the aisle, passing in front of her Mom and Eda. “We’ll be right back, you two. King needs to use the little demon's room. Try not to have too much fun without us!”

Reverse psychology, how brilliant! Her mom and Eda would have all the fun because she told them not too. Even Luz was surprised of her own genius sometimes

Camila nodded. “Be quick,  _ Mija _ , you don’t want to miss any of this. Who knows when we’ll see a play again?”

Luz nodded her head, still keeping King quiet as he fruitlessly struggled in her arms. With as much speed as she could politely manage, Luz power-walked out of the Orchestra Room and into the nearest hallway. Once she was out of earshot of the older women, Luz set the demon down sheepishly. 

“I’m sorry about that, King, but I need your help if this plan is ever gonna work!”

King brushed himself off and straightened his ugly tie. Pointing in the direction of the stage, King said, “Plan? What plan? All I see is me not getting to finish the show! I wanna see if those servants ever let Malchi out of the dungeon. My bet is that his insides get eaten by rats before the third act!”

“And here I thought you said it was gonna be super lame!” said Luz, her voice tinged with a knowing smugness. Before the conversation dove into an argument, however, Luz stopped herself and waved her hands in the air. “Look, call me crazy, but my Mom and Eda totally have the hots for each other. But they’re too clueless, so I, the best matchmaker on the Boiling Isles, have decided to help!”

“‘The best matchmaker?’ Name one couple you’ve got together! Also, Eda and Cam? I think you’re seeing things.” King peeked around the corner, looking at the heads of the two women. Neither Eda nor Camila seemed to overhear their conversation. 

“That doesn’t matter right now.” Luz said, changing the subject, and then motioned for King to follow her into the Main Lobby. “What’s important is we give them some alone time! Just wait, they’ll be holding hands and whispering pet names in each other’s ears by curtain call!”

“If you wanted to get them alone, why did you bring all four of us here?” King asked as they went through a pair of double doors. The Main Lobby was largely empty save for a clerk behind the service desk and a bored-looking doorman. The room was big and beautiful with red-and-gold carpeting, a crystal chandelier, and bright lights accentuating the yellowed production posters on the walls. 

“So it isn’t obvious that I set them up! They just need to enjoy the show, soak in the romance, and let things happen naturally. But if they knew I tricked them, they’d be all awkward and probably really mad…”

King looked confused. “Why do you need them to think you don’t want them to date?”

“I want them to date, but they need to think it’s their idea!”

“Why? That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Because no one listens to kids in these situations! They’d just brush me off and tell me I’m seeing things, just like Willow!” Luz paused and tapped her chin thoughtfully. “... it's also pretty common in TV and movies?

The demon let out a gasp before hurriedly nodding his head. “Oh, that makes sense! If there’s one thing I’ve learned after all these years, it’s that television can always be trusted.”

As the two friends walked around the lobby and admired the posters of famous plays, many by Wilbert Spearshaker, King continued. “That said, I'm surprised you want them to get together! Things never end well for the people Eda dates. I mean, you remember how the last guy– ”

“I thought we agreed to never speak of him again?” said Luz. The young girl shivered as memories of fire and ice rose to the surface, and she pushed them back down like unwanted garbage. “It’s a good thing that guy had such terrible aim! I still have nightmares. What do you think Eda did after she turned him into a rat?

“She probably ate him. She is the Owl Lady, after all.” King shrugged like this was a blameless act. “How about that other ex? That Six-Eyed Witch who tracked us for weeks, even after Hooty moved the house?”

Luz remembered her well. With her six eyes, that witch could find people halfway across the Isles. She liked to come at the dead of night, distracting Hooty with treats before banging on the door, begging Eda to take her back. With an eye in each palm and two on the back of her head, Luz’s blood always ran cold when she was near that witch.

Eventually, Eda got fed up with the sleep loss and chased her off, threatening to poke out each of the witch’s six eyes if she showed her face again.

If Luz was honest with herself, she was relieved that Eda hadn’t dated anyone since her Mom moved in. Camila kept Eda occupied and away from the crazy people she attracted. It was like the Owl Lady was a craziness magnet, but Luz figured anyone would be nuts to date the most wanted witch on the Boiling Isles.

Well, nuts or a bounty hunter, because one of Eda’s exes was a slimy creep who took Luz hostage in order to capture Eda. To be fair, the snails on Eda’s head was enough to buy Belos’ castle out from underneath him, but it was still a cheap move to trick someone into dating you for their reward money. 

Luz was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with her if she didn’t have some kind of PTSD from all the times she’s nearly been killed so far.

As King carried on with more horror stories, he failed to notice the expression of dread creep onto Luz’s face. Doubt began to eat away at her, and her stomach churned like she’d just drank a tall glass of ice-cold milk.

With her teeth clenched, Luz finished one of King’s stories for him.

“Or what about Warden Wrath… he cut off Eda’s head and tried to force her to date him. You said that was one of her better breakups… and she wasn’t even dating him!” Luz buried her face in her hands. “Kiiiiing… I made a huge mistake!”

A wave of anxiety enveloped Luz and her giddy mood evaporated. What had she done? Her Mom, dating Eda of all people? There was no way that would happily ever after!

“What have I done, King? If they date, they’re sure to break up in a week, tops! Then my Mom will go  _ muy loco _ , or she’ll hate Eda so much I’ll never see her again! We’ll have to move, start a new life, and the two of us will never hang out again!”

“Say what? We can’t let that happen!” King snorted and pounded the floor with his tiny toes. “Cam gives the best belly rubs, and who else will capture my glorious image forever in art if not you? But what can we do? Your plan is truly foolproof, and even if we go back, the romantic mood has already been sparked!”

“We have only one choice,” Luz exclaimed, slamming her fist into an open palm, narrowing her eyes. “We gotta turn this cheesy rom-com into the ultimate tragedy!”

* * *

Luz and King snuck through the theater, each humming their own version of a stealthy spy song, paying no mind that their tunes clashed with the other’s. Luz kept her eyes peeled, but so far no one had noticed her sick ninja tricks; not because she was stealthy, but because everyone else was too busy watching the play to even notice the human.

Their goal was simple: sneak into the backstage and sabotage the show from within. If the play was ruined, then so was the atmosphere Luz had built. Normally, this would make Luz feel guilty, from humiliating the actors, to disappointing the audience, but her Mom and mentor’s eternal happiness was on the line! That came before anything else.

Eda must be rubbing off on her, because the idea of wrecking the play in a grand, dramatic fashion kinda appealed to Luz more than she expected.

With little fanfare, the human and demon found the backstage door, where the cast and crew prepared for the next scene. Luz jiggled the knob, but the door was locked, probably to keep anyone from doing exactly what Luz was attempting to do. “This might be a problem…”

“Don’t worry, I got this!” King climbed up Luz’s body and rested on her shoulders. She bent over, angling herself so he could fiddle with the lock. The demon dug one of his claws into the mechanism and turned it around, the bony claw twisting around the fine-tuned metal.

Luz didn’t expect much, but to her shock, the lock clicked and the door cracked open. 

“Aha! No sweat!” King bragged smugly, dusting off his paws. Setting the demon onto the ground, Luz gave the demon a short round of applause as he bowed over-and-over again. “I can be very useful! You don’t hang around with the greatest owl burglar on the Isles without picking up a few heist tricks, after all!” 

“That was pretty amazing, King!” Luz praised the demon, much to his joy.

With the grace of alleycats, the duo snuck past the door and were immediately hit by a wall of noise as the cast milled around backstage. The stagehands were preparing heavy setpieces while many actors changed into fresh costumes and applied new makeup. In all the chaos, no one noticed the small human and even smaller demon.

“Come on everybody, move it, move it!” A loud, crass voice bellowed over everything. “Lady Oblivia needed a costume change five minutes ago, and if Beste has one more breakdown over not remembering his lines, someone is gonna be fired! Here’s a hint, it’s going to be **all** of you!”

Luz grabbed King by the paw and pulled him behind a prop portrait that had seen better days. The man shouting was a short, pot-bellied witch whose outfit matched the old-timey costumes of the actors, being composed of white tights, puffy shoulder pads, and a ruffled collar. On his face was a pencil-thin mustache that curled cartoonishly around, and while he had plenty of hair on the sides of his head, he had a glaring bald spot on top. In one hand was a dog-eared script and the other a quill.

“Who in the world is that?” Luz murmured under her breath.

“That is Wilbert Spearshaker,” said King, awe seeping into his voice. “Don’t let the corny appearance fool you, he’s one of the greatest artists the Boiling Isles has ever seen. He’s the only Coven Leader to never be replaced since Belos established them over 50 years ago.”

King’s eyes glistened as he watched the man bark orders at the actors and stagehands like they were mere dogs. “The power… the fealty his followers show him! That is what it means to be a king!”

“He doesn’t seem all the great to me,” Luz said in a distinctly unimpressed tone. She didn’t have the chance to comment anymore, as a pair of stagehands came by to move the portrait they hid behind. The two sabotagers acted fast and dove into a nearby room, shutting the door behind them.

It seemed to be an office of some sort, though filled with cabinets lined with paperwork and half-finished scripts littering the floor. A desk with the nameplate ‘Spearshaker’ stood in the center of the room, and a massive portrait of Wilbert stared at the duo with cold, unflinching eyes.

“We need to get out of here,” said Luz, her voice a hushed whisper. King nodded.

With much care, Luz peeked through the door crack, spying for a chance to escape. Not only that, but she spied for any set piece to mess with; Operation: Sabotage didn’t exactly have a long planning phase, nor was Luz ready to throw herself on the stage to ruin the show. But if they messed around with a set piece or five, that would throw things out of whack and kill any romance in the air.

While Luz peeked through the door, King surveyed the office. There were so many shiny baubles and knick-knacks scattered around, he was sure Eda would love it if he stole one for her. That would keep her mind off the ruined night, and he’d get the praise he so richly deserved. 

The little demon approached Wilbert’s desk, examining its age and quality; it probably cost more than the entire Owl House. Concluding that the drawers must hold equally valuable items, he used a claw to pick a drawer lock. Once the drawer popped open, King sifted through its contents until his eyes caught sight of some papers and lit up.

“The scripts! Haha, even if I do miss the show, I can read through this bad boy and find out how it ends! And all the other shows as well!” King clutched the multiple scripts to his chest and did a little happy dance. 

“King, hurry up! Here’s our chance!” Luz called, making the demon jump and scramble over to her side, the scripts still clenched in his claws.

While King poked around the office, Luz had found their target: a prop chandelier, used in scenes for Lady Oblivia’s manor, hung high from the catwalk, just out-of-view from the audience. Luz had seen it several times, and even if it never showed up in the play again, she could still make it fall and wreak havoc. That would surely disrupt the play!

“We need to undo the ropes,” Luz whispered. “But we can’t run out there. What if someone sees us? What we need are disguises… but where would we find those on such short notice!”

It was at that moment that a stagehand wheeled a rack of costumes past the door. Luz facepalmed while King gave her a stern look.

“Don’t say it,” said Luz, shaking her head. “I know, that was a dumb thing to say.” 

With the speed of a cheetah, Luz bolted through the door, following after the stagehand. She stealthily snatched a green cloak for King and a cat mask for herself. She’d barely put it on her face before the witch noticed her.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your scene?” He asked, in a dull tone that screamed how little he actually cared if Luz was set to perform or not.

“Uh, yes, thank you! I’ll be on my way!” Luz gave an awkward thumbs up and backtracked inside the office. She shoved the cloak into King’s waiting paws and he slipped it on.

“We need to do this fast, then hightail it out of here. We’ll be like ghosts, only not dead because we won’t get caught and likely killed.”

“You can count on me. I’m right behind you!” King replied as he stuffed the scripts into his inner pocket for safekeeping. 

Feeling bolder with their disguises, the duo wandered around backstage, trying to look busy and not call attention to themselves. Thankfully they didn’t have a hard time with that, because Spearshaker was busy distracting everyone with his constant stream of reprimands.

About halfway to the catwalk, however, their luck turned for the worst. 

“You! Yeah, you! The tiny guy in the cloak!” Wilbert’s voice rang out and the duo froze like statues. King stiffly turned around, his joints creaking like stone rubbing on stone.

“Y-yes?” King asked, tugging at his collar. 

“You’re needed on stage during Act 2, Scene IV! Get to Makeup & Illusions pronto, whatever they’ve done to your face is ghastly.” He turned to Luz, who shriveled under his piercing gaze. Surely Wilbert knew she wasn’t part of his troupe; if there was anyone who knew Luz didn’t belong, it was him.

“And you … you’re the greenhorn Madam Beauchaine hired, aren’t you? Make yourself useful and sweep something up! I don’t have the time to waste on you!” Wilbert sneered before he walked away to criticize someone else.

King tugged the cloak’s hood over his head, clearly struggling to keep himself from mauling Wilbert. It was one thing for this playwright to bark orders at his servants, it was another to do it to the King of all Demons!

The demon glanced at Luz, silently apologizing that he couldn’t help further, then angrily stomped his way over to the dressing rooms. Luz had to do this on her own.

Luz was simply content their disguises held up. Climbing up the catwalk, the human crossed the metal bridge over to the chandelier, which was still unused. From this position, Luz could see Lady Oblivia talking with her servant, Malodio, who was possessed by a ghost chicken.

Her hands on the pulley, Luz prepared herself. When she dropped the chandelier, Luz only wanted to damage the stage itself, not hurt anyone. As soon as the scene changed and the actors walked offstage, she’d untether the chandelier.

“Why, how now, my bawcock! How dost thou, chuck!?” said Malodio, his regal outfit ruffling with every buck. The old man strutted across the stage like a chicken, his arms flapping like wings and his gray hair raised like a rooster’s comb. 

Luz’s brow scrunched in confusion. How was this play even a romance when there was so much gosh darn comedy in it?.

Once Lady Oblivia and her other servants ushered Malodio out to be exorcised, Luz assumed the scene was over. Acting quickly, she began loosening the pulley that held the chandelier in place. 

That’s when it happened: with the speed of lightning, three different things occurred to Luz. First, Wilbert Spearshaker looked up and spotted the human messing around with the pulley. He pointed an accusatory finger at her.

“You, Greenhorn! What in the name of Titan are you doing!?”

This startled Luz, and secondly, she pulled back from the pulley. With the chandelier half untied, it began to fall. 

And lastly, due to the pulley being out of order, Luz’s leg was entangled by extra rope, and as the chandelier dragged the rope with it, the rope tightened around her ankle and yanked Luz off her feet. She was dragged off the catwalk, flipped upside, and dangled in front of the whole audience. The chandelier smashed onto the stage ten feet below, sending glass shards everywhere.

The Orchestra Room went dead silent. The actors playing Lady Oblivia, Violin, and Borsalino stood just offstage, their mouth agape. The audience stared wide-eyed. In the deafening silence, someone coughed awkwardly. 

Luz dangled in front of everyone, having never felt so mortified in her life. The only saving grace was her cat mask, which kept people from recognizing her. Except Eda and her mother, of course: there was no way they wouldn’t recognize Luz, even in a disguise.

“ _ Well _ ,” Luz thought, her blood freezing as cold as ice.  _ “I wanted to ruin the atmosphere of the night, and that’s what I got, in a monkey’s paw sort of way… I am in deep unicorn manure right now.” _

Luz struggled against her bonds; the blood rushing to her head was growing painful, and her vision was blurry. Before Luz could free herself, however, she suddenly dropped and hit the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of her. 

“Ah-ha! No need to thank me!” said King, who somehow found his way onto the catwalk. The rope laid cut beside him with his sharp claws at the ready.

Sliding down the rope like a fireman, King landed by Luz’s side, his makeup half done, as he’d clearly rushed to the human’s aid. The demon grabbed the human by the wrist and dragged her offstage, cursing under his breath the whole way. They got as far as the dressing rooms before King ran face-first into Wilbert Spearshaker himself.

The witch’s face was drained of color, his beady eyes bugging out of his skull. For perhaps the first time in his life, Wilbert was at a loss for words, and when he spoke, his voice was unnervingly quiet.

“You… you ruined my show.” It wasn’t an accusation or an insult, it was a mere statement of fact. The greatest bard in the history of the Boiling Isles pointed a trembling finger at the duo. “You… you ruined my work of art.”

Wilbert Spearshaker took a single step towards Luz and King. They backpedaled as he raised a half-clenched fist, his voice still like the heart of a hurricane, which belied the storm building inside his soul. 

“You wrecked my stage. You destroyed my props. You disregarded the safety of my cast and crew. Only I’m allowed to do that.” A rictus grin stretched across Wilbet’s thin lips. Luz had never seen so many teeth in a single mouth before. “You made a mockery of this grand theater and the fine arts.” 

Luz gulped as Wilbert’s inner madness was laid bare. Deep down, she knew that every artist was a little kooky in the head, and right now Wilbert’s worst fear was cascading around and chilled his anger like an ocean engulfing a piece of red-hot metal. Luz was grateful for the mask, for it hid her growing fear.

She flinched when the man broke down into giddy, maniacal laughter.

“It was brilliant! Exquisite! I feel so inspired!” A glob of spittle flew from Wilbert’s mouth, and he turned his back onto Luz. He strutted towards his office, pushing through the crowd of confused actors and stagehands like a bull plowing through a field of daisies. “I must go! My muse calls me!”

Throwing open the office door with a snap, Wilbert shouted like a true madman. “I shall turn this disaster into my next work of art! A comedy of tragedies! No no, a Tragedy of Comedies! Yes yes, very good! Wilbert, you genius, you’ve done it again!”

The door slammed shut with enough force to shake the whole building. Somewhere, a mirror fell off a wall and smashed into a million pieces. No one uttered a single word.

“... I think we broke that man,” said King. He pointed over his shoulder. “C’mon, we gotta get out of here!”

Those words had barely left King’s mouth when the door opened again and Wilbert’s head poked out. In the most pefunctionary voice possible, he said, “Also, you two idiots? You’re fired. And banned for life from the theater. Good day.” 

The door closed much more peacefully this time, and Wilbert retreated into his work, presumably to craft a new masterpiece and ignore any requests for refunds.

Not a second later, a pair of musclebound ogres appeared behind Luz and King. They were hoisted into the air, carried to the backdoor entrance, and carelessly tossed out into a pile of garbage. Just as Luz rooted her way out of a pile of moldy bananas and smelly cheese, the backdoor slammed shut.

* * *

With the show prematurely shut down, there was no reason to dally. The human and demon walked around to the theater’s entrance, where grumpy audience members marched out. With their clothes and fur damp with funky garbage, the duo waited for Camila and Eda. 

They didn’t have to wait long, for two women soon stomped outside. When they spotted Luz and King, Camila and Eda narrowed their eyes and Luz knew she was in for an earful. Probably two; that’s what it meant to have two mother figures in her life.

The four wordlessly began their trek back home; Eda had given Owlbert the night off, so the foul odor wafting off Luz and King only made the walk more miserable. Once they were out of earshot of any of the members of high society, Camila gave Luz the dreaded ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed’ look. 

“What were you thinking,  _ Mija _ ? What were you doing backstage? You’re not allowed back there!” Camila shook her head. “I thought I raised you better. Well, young lady? I’m waiting to hear the truth from your own mouth.”

“Yeah, and how come I wasn’t invited to the party!?” Eda spat out, earning a glare from Camila. The Owl Lady gave an apologetic shrug, which only slightly mollified the Hispanic mother.

Luz bit her lip and rubbed her arms anxiously. 

“Well, uh, King and I got a little lost on our way to the little demon’s room and wound up backstage…” Luz began. Judging from the frown on Camila’s face, she wasn’t impressed with Luz’s answer so far. But before she could continue, King hopped onto her shoulders and piped in.

“And we found out that Wilbert Spearshaker is a total fraud!”

Luz and company looked at King, who pulled the scripts from his pilfered cloak and held them out for all to see. “He didn’t write any of his plays! Look!”

The demon waved the scripts, and sure enough, the top one read _Twelfth Night, or What You Will_ , by William Shakespeare.

King flipped through the pages like an animator’s notepad. Hundreds of pages of narration and dialogue whizzed past everyone’s eyes. “He filed the names off, replaced them with his own, and changed a few details. He totally stole all his best material! Whoever this Shakspeare guy is, I bet he’s awfully mad!”

The demon clenched a paw tightly and narrowed his eyes. “I can appreciate thieves, crooks, and lowlifes, but there is no greater evil in this world than plagiarism!” 

Camila and Eda, now thoroughly distracted, shot each other a look. “That… makes sense. I wondered why this play felt so familiar, my high school performed the original  _ Twelfth Night _ when I was Luz’s age.”

Eda rifled through the rest of the stolen scripts. “Romeo and Juliet were renamed Tombeo and Ghouliette.  _ The Two Gentlemen of Verona _ became the  _ Two Witches of Bonesburrow _ .  _ Othello  _ became  _ Gorethelo _ …”

Snapping the scripts shut, the Owl Lady gave Camila a curious look. “Wilbert really is a hack! I knew he was Coven scum, but I didn’t think he was creatively bankrupt too! So, does that mean this Shakespeare guy was human?”

“Yes, he’s one of the most famous playwrights to ever live.” Camila nodded her head. “His plays have been performed for hundreds of years.” 

Eda grinned wickedly and rubbed her hands together. All she was missing was a curly moustache to twirl and she would make a perfect villain. “Ooooh, excellent. I might not have pickpocketed those fools in the theater, but this is juicy blackmail material! It’s even better!”

Luz took the script for Romeo and Juilet, noticing it was emblazoned with ‘St. Leo’s Middle School.’ “Hey, this one’s from my old school!”

Camila ignored Eda and turned her attention back to Luz. “Don’t think that I’ve forgotten about you, young lady. You still need to be punished.”

Before Luz’s fate was decided, Eda slid on over and wrapped an arm around Cam’s shoulder. She gave Camila a dazzling, golden-tooth smile, enough to charm any demon and bring about the downfall of angels. 

“Cammy, honey, baby! Please reconsider! I think we need to cut Luz some slack.”

“Eda, I cannot let this slide! Luz destroyed public property, endangered the lives of several actors, and nearly got herself killed! What would have happened if she fell on her head, hm?”

Eda nodded her head in complete understanding with the most sympathetic expression imaginable. Just by looking at it, Luz felt compelled to punish even herself, and Camila was getting a full-on blast of this conniving witch’s words. 

“Yes, what Luz did was stupid. As her mother, you have every right to punish her. And if you didn’t do it, I would! I cannot have my apprentice going around willy-nilly, nearly getting herself killed!” Eda rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Sure, I was worse at her age. Sure, I set fire to Hexside more times than I can count. But if Luz is gonna break the rules, she should do it right and keep herself out of mortal peril!”

Camila raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. To everyone’s shock, she was seemingly immune to Eda’s killer charm!

“... is this supposed to convince me? If so, you’re not doing a very good job.”

The Owl Lady shook her head and gave Camila a wink.

“Think about it this way, Cam. I’m gonna blackmail the  **crap** out of Spearshaker. Gonna squeeze that fat bas– ” Eda cast an eye at Luz. Without skipping a beat, she continued. “Fat not-very-good-man dry. Really ruin him! Sure, Luz ruined a night of fun, but she just fed and clothed us for, uh, how fast can you spend money? At least a week, I’m sure. How harshly can we punish her, knowing that?”

Camila sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She understood how hard it was for Eda to put food on the table, especially since there was a dwindling supply of human oddities to sell. Camila did her best to help out, but it would take time to earn her Healing Coven degree, and classes weren’t cheap and took most of her available income. For a good while longer, their future was less than secure. 

“Fine, fine! I get it.” Camila sighed and turned Luz. With a beaming Eda still hanging off her shoulder, Camila said in the most serious tone possible, “You’re still grounded, young lady. I won’t encourage this behavior. One week: no crystal ball, no Scroll, and you come straight back home from school to do chores. No playing with friends, got it?”

Luz nodded, knowing she was getting off incredibly easy. Eda shot her a covert thumbs up and a wink; even now, the Owl Lady felt a high for weaseling around an authority figure. When Camila shot her a suspicious glare, Eda was already whistling innocently.

The rest of the walk home went without incident. With nasty gloop sloshing around her shoes, Luz lagged behind everyone else. King was flipping through the  _ Twelfth Night _ script, catching up on what he missed. Perhaps with her wily words, Eda could blackmail Wilbert to show King another live performance, but for now, this was the only way he’d experience the play. 

With weary eyes, Luz watched as her mom and Eda walked side by side. Eda still had an arm around Camila, and occasionally their hips bumped into each other. Under the starry night sky and different circumstances, they would have been the perfect couple for each other. 

But Luz ruined that. She was supposed to be happy about it; after all, she just saved Eda and Camila from years of heartbreak, but Luz couldn’t find any relief in that knowledge. 

When they arrived back at the Owl House, they were greeted by Lilith, who wasn’t at all resentful to not be invited to a show by her favorite playwright, and left with only Hooty for company, thank you very much, and Luz listened as Eda explained the situation while her Mom picked something for everyone to watch on the crystal ball.

And Luz watched as Eda joined her Mom on the sofa, both still dressed in their gorgeous outfits. Eda wrapped an arm around Camila while her mother snuggled close to the Owl Lady, her head resting in the crook of Eda’s neck. They looked so natural, so peaceful, like a picture book romance. Like they truly belonged together. 

What was she doing? Not only had Luz wasted Amity’s charity, but she let paranoia get in the way of this perfect night. Her entire teenage life had been devoted to shipping, and yet she’d turned her back on it. And for what? Because she was afraid? That she didn’t trust Eda to treat her Mom well, or her Mom to tame the wild Owl Lady? What was wrong with her?

Bidding everyone goodnight, Luz marched up to her room. It was back to the drawing board for her: there was another date to plan...

“Hey, Luz! Don’t forget to shower before bed! You’ll stink up the house!” called Eda from downstairs.

… right after Luz washed this gunk out of her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We googled up some Shakespeare plays to use as the basis for the play, and picked one labeled as a romance, Twelfth Night. After watching a summary of the play, we realized it was a lot more of a comedy, but stuck with it anyway. Thirteenth Night just sounds so witchy we couldn't pass it up!
> 
> Also, fun fact, that line that is spoken on stage was taken right from the real plays script. we chose the most awkward sounding line we could. It was an insult used during an argument, and for the life of me and my co-writer, we have no clue what it's meaning is supposed to be, hence the Boiling Isles version has the actor acting like a chicken onstage because the dialogue just sounds like nonsense a bird would screech out. 
> 
> As always, feel free to leave a comment, the sheer amount of positive feedback the last chapter got was incredibly uplifting for the two of us. Expect chapter 4 later in the week, as only chapter 5 still needs to receive any edits.


	4. The Fourth One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, We, Gemini and Raphael, thank everyone for the comments on the last chapter. We always look forward to it.

The Parent (and Mentor) Trap

Chapter 4

Before Luz knew it, time flew by and the week was over. All throughout her grounding, Luz brainstormed ideas on how to hook up Eda and her mom, but nothing came of it. All her plans were contrived or unrealistic, and while Luz was a diehard fan of cliches, she wanted their whirlwind romance to be something truly unique. Even plumbing her personal library was a dead end.

Oh, how could YA romance novels fail Luz like this!?

Now that she was free to hang out after school, Luz made plans to meet Gus and Willow at the market. Maybe some fresh air would give her new ideas, or take her mind off it for a while? If nothing else, Luz looked forward to some fun antics with her friends, and as she grabbed her wallet, Luz decided to buy Amity something sweet as thanks for the tickets. 

_ “I wonder what Amity’s favorite candy is _ ?” thought Luz. She pursed her lips. “M _ aybe caramel apples? Do they even have those on the Boiling Isles _ ?”

Before Luz left, she looked at herself in the mirror, shifting the new beanie on her head until it looked perfect. After throwing on a light jacket, Luz headed out the door and grinned as a cool spring breeze blew in her face, ruffling her brown bangs.

As Luz made her way towards the Marketplace, her Scroll went off. Pulling it out of her pocket, she saw Willow’s message saying she was running late. Luz replied with a series of emojis, doing her best to not summon an eldritch demon with an arcane emoji arrangement. The last time that happened, it took forever to put out the fires. 

By the time Luz arrived, she found Gus standing outside a magical pawn shop, where a peculiar witch wearing a golden horned helmet sold crystal enchanted items. Despite seeing Gus everyday at school, it felt like forever since she saw him as a free woman, and running up to Gus, Luz scooped the small witch up into a hug. 

“It feels so good to be out of the slammer, Gus!” cried Luz with the biggest, widest grin possible. “You have no idea what I’ve been through! I never wanna be grounded again!”

Gus nodded his head with a most serious expression. “I know. I can’t believe they kept you buried underground for a whole week, and only let you out for school!”

While still holding up Gus, Luz’s brow wrinkled in confusion. 

“... Wait, did you think being ‘grounded’ meant I was, like, stuck in the ground?”

“Uuuh, what?” Gus rapidly shook his head. “I mean, no! I’m just joking, you know what a kidder I am. I know all about groundings, I totally didn’t think Eda buried you up to the neck and fed you through a straw for seven days straight, what a silly thing to think!”

Gus playfully punched Luz shoulder and put on a forced smile. He made a mental note to research the actual meaning of ‘being grounded’ when he got home. Even if this meant another all-nighter, he would crack this cryptic code of cross cultural confusion!

Luz chuckled and patted Gus on the back. “Well, you sure fooled me! So, how do you wanna kill time while we wait for Willow?”

Gus narrowed his eyes, but soon realized it was just another human expression and Luz had no intention of murdering Father Time. Gus was ready for all sorts of shenanigans with his human friend, but destroying the space-time continuum wasn’t his cup of tea. 

“Why don’t we look around for a bit?” Gus gave a shrug. “The stalls are always changing, whether shopkeepers migrate from one city to the next, or the Emperor’s Coven shuts someone down. We can scope out the place, and figure out the best places to take Willow!”

Luz nodded her head and hummed in agreement. Side-by-side, the two friends made their way through the Marketplace, doing their best to not get separated. Luz oohed and aahed over the stalls, many selling seasonal spring items she’d never seen before. New lines of witch fashion begged to be worn, from invisibility cloaks so powerful that Luz couldn’t find them and wizard hats that whispered forbidden secrets into her brain, to a red umbrella staff that ate staffs and liches alike.

There was even a produce stall that sold fruits and vegetables Luz had never laid eyes on nor tasted. After buying a candied fruit for Amity that Gus insisted was delicious, Luz chose a fruit that resembled a two-pronged banana, Luz took a bite of it. Her eyes immediately bugged out as the flavor of sweaty socks filled her mouth.

“Ugh! That’s just…. gross!” said Luz, spitting out the fruit. Gus just happily munched away at his banana lookalike and shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Humans sure do have weird taste buds, these taste great to me!” said Gus, taking another bite. Luz just stuck her tongue out and shivered with disgust.

“Whatever you say, dude. I gotta get this funky taste out of my mouth.”

Mercifully, the Moonstar Cafe was only a stone’s throw away, and after waiting in line, the two friends bought a pair of Fizzy Cauldrons. The beverage was sweet like cider, yet served hot like tea. It hissed with carbonated bubbles and they were even served in novelty cups that looked like tiny cauldrons.

After blowing steam off the piping hot mug, Luz took a long gulp, feeling the bubbles tickle her tongue as the drink filled her body with warmth. The brew was sickeningly sweet, proving once again that high fructose corn syrup had nothing on magic. Not only that, but it was rainbow-flavored and turned the inside of Luz’s mouth into a kaleidoscope of color so bright it was hard to look at. 

One day, Luz really needed to find out how they extracted the taste from rainbows so she could brew her own at home. Maybe they outsourced that to Leprechauns? If so, not only could Luz learn the recipe, but Eda could find the Leprechauns’ gold. She could just picture the Owl Lady lying on a pile of ill-gotten gold coins, living it up. 

Taking another gulp, Luz turned to Gus to see if he knew anything, only to spot the most exciting thing on the Boiling Isles and spit out her drink. This sprayed the small witch in rainbow spittle, and while Gus wiped his damp face off, Luz pulled him off to the side to find paper towels.

“I am so sorry, Gus!” said Luz, helping him clean up. “I totally didn’t mean to do that, it’s just– well, look!”

Luz flipped Gus around so fast it nearly gave him whiplash and pointed at the spectacle. Far off, about a dozen shops down, were Eda Clawthorne and Camila Noceda, who were perusing the Marketplace together. The change of seasons meant a change in produce, and with her own fruit stall, Camila needed help figuring out which items sold best, how to identify fresh stock from spoiled, and more. 

Walking side-by-side, Eda spoke into Camila’s ear as she picked up the same banana lookalike Luz did minutes ago. On the surface, they looked innocent enough, but deep down, Luz knew Eda had to be whispering cute pet names and jokes. Why else would her mother be smiling so much over disgusting, not-good-tasting fruits!?

While Luz daydreamed about all that delicious, fanfic-worthy flirting, Gus nodded his head in appreciation.

“Wow, you were right! Eda does look pretty good with her new hair!” said Gus. He dragged his fingers through his hair. 

“Do you think your Mom could dye mine too? I mean, I can just do it with magic– ” With a spin of his finger, Gus’ hair turned a shade of neon blue. On the back of his head flickered the words ‘Gus is Great’ in bold yellow colors. “ –but I would love to get it done like a human would!” 

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” Luz gave a small shrug, not tearing her eyes away as her mother bought several exotic fruits and vegetables. “Though it depends on how much we have left, and what color you’d want. Just… gosh, what are they saying!?”

Luz briefly considered approaching her Mom and Eda, if only to better observe their obvious lovey-dovey talk, but she held back. The embers of a week’s worth of boredom inside the Owl House gnawed at her soul. Not only that, but with the frustration at failing to come up with another grand idea stung Luz’s pride as a dye-in-the-wool romantic. 

Taking another drag of Fizzy Cauldron, Luz peered at the beverage. The rich red and orange colors swirled with shades of green, yellow, and blue; to some, the mixture looked more like watery paint than an appetizing drink, but Luz adored it. The deeper Luz stared at the drink, the more a plan slowly hatched in her head.

It was like a snowball rolling down the side of an icy mountain: sometimes, with enough speed and momentum, even a single snowflake could start a mighty avalanche of a scheme. All Luz needed to do was give a little push, with some help of course.

“Hey, Gus?” said Luz softly. She watched at Eda as the Owl Lady held up two gourd-like fruits and suggestively waggled her eyebrows at Camila, who rolled her eyes. “Do you remember how I wanted to get my Mom and Eda together, but I promised Willow I wouldn’t?”

Gus nodded, his smile falling into a grumpy frown. “Yeah, which was totally unfair. This could stifle Witch-human relations for generations!”

“Welllll…” Luz twirled a finger through her hair, striving to look as innocent as possible. “What if I told you I didn’t exactly... keep that promise? And I may have a plan that you could help me with right now?”

Gus’s eyes lit up, and in a poof of magic, he held a pair of flags and wore a gaudy red cap. The hat was emblazoned with ‘CamEda’ while the flags had pictures of Eda and Camila’s faces. 

“I am one hundred percent on board with whatever you need me to do!”

Luz grimaced at the gaudy attire, quickly tearing the hat off Gus’ head and tossing it away, where it evaporated in a puff of smoke. Glancing around, she made sure no one saw it, much less her Mom and Eda, who had moved onto a clothing stand and tried out several outfits, showing off to each other. 

With the coast clear, Luz leaned in and hissed in Guz’s ear “We gotta keep this low profile, Gus! If they find out what we’re planning, the romance will feel forced and everything will fall apart. So no flags or hats, got it?”

Gus nodded and the flags out of existence. Hiding behind an unattended tool stand, Gus and Luz discussed their super-secret scheme in private.

“Okay, so, your part is easy: I need you to run interference. Keep them busy until I give the signal, and don’t tell them I’m involved. Got it?”

“I’m on it, chief!” said Gus with a salute. The small witch sprang up and started towards Camila and Eda, only to skid to a halt and double back. He wordlessly chugged what was left of his Fizzy Cauldron, then darted away again. Luz simply left her drink behind as she enacted her half of the plan. 

With the stealth of a cat, Luz approached a stall nearly buried under a plethora of colorful flowers. After rattling her pockets to make sure she had the necessary Snails, she said, “Excuse me, sir?” 

Behind the stall stood a lean demon, who was busy pruning a bush of eyeball-shaped flowers. When he heard Luz’s voice, the demon turned around and smiled at Luz. His face was a pale shade of green, and a single red horn sprouted from his right temple; a calcified stump poked out of his left temple. 

“Yes, hello there, my dear. Welcome to my humble little shop.” The one-horned demon gestured a wrinkly hand to the bounty of flowers around him. “How may I help you? Would you care for a flower?”

Luz eyed the flowers with a scrutinizing gaze. While they all looked lovely, at least the ones without teeth, it occurred to Luz she had no clue which flowers meant what. They didn’t exactly have normal roses on the Isles, and while Blood Lilies looked similar, Eda once told her they meant a declaration of an eternal blood feud. She certainly didn’t want to pick the wrong flower and risk offending either Eda or her mom.

“I’m looking for something that screams ‘romance,’” said Luz, before adding, “I mean aesthetically. I don’t want flowers that actually scream. Just… something that looks nice and pretty for a first… eighth, er, twelfth love?”

The one-horned demon nodded knowingly, tucking his pruning shears into a black apron strapped around his body.

“Oh, I see. Who’s the lucky guy? Or is it a girl? They?” The demon gave a friendly wink before he began putting a bouquet together, pulling a red daisy here and a yellow petunia there. He was slow and methodical about the task, ensuring there was a colorful balance of the sweet-smelling flowers.

A flash of brown and green hair flashed through Luz’s mind for some reason, but she quickly shook her head.

“Oh, no! They aren’t for me, they’re for them.” She pointed towards the group, where Gus was animatedly jabbering away at her nervous mother. Eda, however, was nowhere to be seen, which made Luz ponder where she had disappeared to. Probably off filching some shiny knick knack from someone.

When the one-horned demon saw Camila and Gus together, he gave Luz an uncomfortable look. Luz cringed. “Uh, not for the boy! I mean, for the older woman and someone else. She’s my mom, and I’m trying to set her up with someone. I need your help to pull it off.”

A curious expression struck the flower caretaker, who leaned in closer to Luz and gave a playful grin, not unlike a grandfather indulging his grandchild in her pranks. “Oh yeah? And how may I help, young miss?”

“I need you to take those flowers and give them to her. When she and the other lady come back, hand them over and tell her it would make a great gift for her ‘girlfriend.’ If it’s on her mind, maybe they’ll realize the chemistry between them!”

To further sell the deal, Luz set two piles of Snails down on the counter and pushed them forward. She gave the demon a wink and finger pistol. “I’ll even pay extra. You in?”

The demon looked at the Snails, pocketed one pile, and slid the other pile back.

“Young miss, I’ve been in this business for a long time. If flowers are good for anything, outside of declaring an unending, bloody war on your enemies, it’s romance. I get romance, it’s the best part of the job.” The one-horned demon let out a soft chuckle. “So keep your extra money. I’m happy to help foster love between anyone.”

Luz was in awe. She’d never seen any vendor refuse extra coin before. She took the Snails back, happily smiling at the man’s generosity. “Thank you so much! They should be heading this way any minute, so I need to hide before they suspect anything!”

The one-horned demon nodded in understanding, and turning back to Gus, Luz gave him a thumbs up. She then headed back to Moonstar Cafe while Gus excused himself. He looped around the Marketplace before rejoining Luz at the cafe, lest he accidentally led Camila’s eye to Luz’s location.

The two friends sat at a table on the cafe’s patio, hiding behind two large menus. Their eyes poked out from the menus’ sides. 

“So, how’s the plan coming along?” asked Gus. 

“Perfectly!” Luz forced herself from bouncing up and down in her seat. “Oh boy, this is gonna be great!”

“So, what even was the plan?” said Gus. “You really didn’t tell me anything. I didn’t even know what the signal was, so I’m glad I was looking in your direction when I did!”

“I paid someone to give them flowers.”

“Wow, really?” Gus frowned slightly. “That’s… a lot more mundane than I was expecting. I was half-hoping for an explosion of fireworks in the sky, reading ‘I love you,’ or something else grand.

For a split second, the image of a shattered chandelier, a half-mad playwright, and her mother’s disappointed face flashed through Luz’s mind. The human girl shivered and hugged herself tightly.

“Remind me one day to tell you how the first hookup plan turned out. Here’s a spoiler: it ended with me grounded for a week, put a hole in a theater stage, and left me forever traumatized by pencil moustaches.”

“You told me and Willow you were grounded for being out late!” Gus gasped, getting teary-eyed as the implication settled in. With a flustered expression, Luz patted Gus on the back. 

“I-I didn’t… I only lied so Willow wouldn’t find out!” said Luz. She gave Gus a weak grin. “I’m sorry! You are totally trustworthy, Gus, I shouldn’t have kept you out of the loop!”

Before Gus could reply, Camila and Eda entered into view and the two schemers silenced themselves. As they neared the flower stall, their conversation drifted into the edge of hearing.

“I could have sworn I saw Luz around here before Gus came along…” said Camila. Luz raised her menu higher as her mother’s eyes skirted around the Marketplace. “Hm… perhaps she left?”

“I’m sure we’ll run into her later. The kid must be bored to tears after being stuck home all week,” said Eda. With her long legs, Eda could easily outpace the shorter Camila, but she clearly didn’t mind walking slower for Camila’s sake. The Owl Lady carried her share of the groceries with a juice moustache on her upper lip, presumably after eating some fruit. 

Before they could continue, the flower-selling demon spoke up, beckoning Camila to approach his stall.

“Excuse me, ma’am? I couldn’t help but notice that you and your partner make a lovely couple.” The demon held out the bouquet and gave a warm grin. “Why don’t you take this, and– ”

Camila held out a hand, trying to walk past the vendor without looking at him. “I’m very sorry, but I can’t afford these right now. Thank you, but we need to be leaving no– ”

The demon wasn’t through with his pitch though, and stepping from behind the counter, he tried to force it into Camila’s hands. “Oh, they’re on the house! Why don’t you give these to your girlfriend and– ”

Camila blanched and her eyes went wide. “Oh. Oh! B-but she isn’t my girlfr– ”

“What’s going on over here?” Eda stepped in, putting herself between Camila and the one-horned demon. “You wouldn’t be pestering my friend for a sale, would you?”

The demon froze, getting a good look at Camila’s companion for the first time. His mouth fell open and his voice went soft and still. “E-Eda? Is that… you?”

“Oakley?” Eda’s eyebrows shot up so high they nearly disappeared into her hair. “Oh no…”

Camila glanced between the two of them. “Uh, do you two know each other?”

“Know each other?” Oakley squeaked out, his voice growing tight and very unaccommodating. He cleared his throat and gripped his hands tightly, which made the bouquet in his grasp quiver. “Know each other? We  _ used _ to be something of an item...”

From her safe spot on Moonstar Cafe’s patio, Luz facepalmed, cursing her luck and knowing this could get really ugly, really quickly.

Back at the flower stall, Camila blinked in surprise. “Oh, really? I wasn’t aware you were… I mean, I thought… you’ve dated this man before, Eda?”

Eda rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I have. If that’s what you want to call three dinners together.”

Oakley gripped the bouquet so tightly that the stems snapped and petals fell off. The demon gritted his teeth in a twisted facsimile of a smile. “Well, we could have gone on more if you hadn’t stopped taking my calls.”

“Maybe I would have if you weren’t a needy wimp who called me every five minutes.” Eda snapped back and crossed her arms. “Psh! You know, Cam, this guy’s the reason I don’t use a Scroll anymore. I mean, seriously, who leaves 89 messages in an hour? I couldn’t stand being smothered!”

Camila shifted her weight from foot to foot. She was clearly uncomfortable, and with as much tact as possible, she tried to lead Eda away. What she underestimated was the Owl Lady’s sheer stubbornness, who refused to move like a statue. 

“Uh, could you two possibly keep it down? You’re drawing a crowd...” Camila was correct, as many shoppers and vendors stopped to watch what would surely become the next piece of juicy gossip to haunt the Marketplace.

“Well, maybe things would have worked out if  _ someone _ didn’t have commitment issues!” Oakley shot back, pounding his hands against the stall counter. More petals fell off the flowers, and if Willow was here, she’d die of shock at the abuse of innocent perennials. 

“What ‘commitment’ are you talking about? We went on  _ three dates _ !” Eda slapped her forehead and rolled her eyes. “Then the next thing I know, I’m getting calls in the dead of night from some guy who thinks he knows me! You’re lucky I gave a creep like you a chance at all!”

Oakley looked genuinely hurt for a split second, then stiffened his lip and turned his back on Eda. He let out an indignant huff. “Well, fine then! If that’s how things are, I ask that you please leave my stall!”

Camila groaned, trying to hide her face from the crowd. “... you’re the one who invited me over in the first place,  _ tonto obsesionado _ .”

“Come on, Cam! We don’t need to take this.” Eda took the human by the hand, and with a sharp tug, she pulled Camila away. She stomped with every step, which left the shorter woman stumbling to keep pace.

While her nerves were shot, Luz breathed a sigh of relief. She fanned herself with her menu disguise, sweat rolling down her brow.

“Oh, boy! That could have gone so much worse, little buddy.” She glanced at Gus. “Usually Eda’s exes are much nuttier. I half-expected him to chuck that bouquet at Eda!”

Slowly, Gus shook her head with a cold dread in his eyes.

“Uh, not rain on your parade, Luz– by the way, whoever plans parades in the Human Realm when it's expected to rain must have a death wish– but I don’t think this is over just yet…” said Gus, pointing at the stall. Luz quickly followed his finger and her face went pale.

Eda and Camila hadn’t taken more than a handful of steps before Oakley leapt over the stall’s counter. Dragging his belly on the ground, the one-horned demon threw himself at Eda’s feet and clutched her ankle, bawling like a baby. 

“Eda, please! Take me back!” said Oakley with tears rolling down his green face. “I promise I won’t pester you! Just don’t break my heart!”

Eda tensed up at the demon’s touch and immediately tried to throw him off. Oakley held on like a persistent leech, nuzzling Eda’s leg in a manner both childish and obscene.

“I think we already established that you won’t be pestering me at all! Now. Let go. Of me. Before I break something else of yours!” Eda emphasized each word with a kick to the demon, which in her killer heels left black and blue marks over his soppy face.

Luz considered interfering, but before she stepped in, Oakley let go of Eda, if only to shield himself from the Owl Lady’s wrath. 

“Edaaa, how could you leave me for this, this harloooot!?” He cried, curling into a ball. The demon made for a most pathetic sight, and even his horn was starting to chip off. Small wonder he was down to one...

While Oakley had lost his will to fight, Eda was just getting started. Her cheeks burned at the demon’s words, but her embarrassment soon boiled into rage, and if the Owl Lady could still use magic, she might have blasted Oakley with a torrent of flames. 

“Okay, first of all! I’m not dating Cam, you dolt!” Eda’s body shook with frustration. “Second, it’s been five years, you quivering lump of hellspawn! I know you’ll never land another piece of sweet ass like mine again, but it’s time to get over it! And lastly– ” 

Before Eda could continue, a hand fell on her shoulder. The Owl Lady whipped her head around, ready to chew whoever else dared touch her, but when her mismatched eyes met Camila’s soft brown, her expression softened in an instant. 

Slowly, Camila shook her head, and it was only then that Eda noticed the murmurs ringing throughout the crowd. Between Oakley’s sniveling and Eda’s onslaught, there were whispers of a lover’s quarrel, and in the distance, Coven Guards were shoving their way through to capture the most wanted criminal on the Isles. 

Glancing between Camila and Oakley, Eda bit her lip. Silently, she made her choice.

“And lastly, we’re done wasting our time in this snoozefest of a market. Come on, Cammy-baby!” 

Eda pulled Camila close, wrapping an arm around her. With a sharp whistle, Owlbert flew out of the sky, swooping to Eda’s side. Hauling herself and Camila onto the staff, Eda kicked off the ground just as the white-hooded guards emerged from the crowd and dogpiled where they stood moments before.

As they shot off into the sky, Camila hugged Eda desperately.

“Wait, wait, Eda! I’m afraid of heeeeeeeights…!!”

As the Owl Lady and Camila disappeared over the horizon, Oakley was dragged off by the Coven Guards for questioning. Oakley pleaded that he was completely innocent, and to their credit, the Coven Guards assured the broken man he would probably be released that night with minimal bruises.

Probably. 

As Oakley’s cries disappeared in the chatter of the crowd, Luz wallowed in despair. Another attempt at getting Eda and her Mom together had failed. At least this time it wasn’t because of self-sabotage? 

“How could that have gone any worse!?” asked Luz, burying her face in her hands. After a moment of thought, she peeked from between her fingers. “… okay, that could have involved a lot more fire, plant magic, and property damage, but still.”

As Luz groaned, Gus patted her back and swallowed his own disappointment. A historic moment in Human/Witch relations, wasted and gone. “Let’s look on the bright side, Luz! This will make an amazing story for my autobiography, when I become a famous human scholar.”

In a flash, Luz grabbed Gus by the collar. “No, Gus. You can’t write this down. No one can ever know about this.” 

She spoke intensely, staring him dead in the eye, but when her ears caught up with Gus’ words, Luz gave him an encouraging grin. “But good on you for planning out your future! I’m rooting for you, little buddy! Chase those dreams and become the biggest bookworm this side of the Isles!”

While Luz stared down Gus, the small witch glanced over her shoulder. He stiffened up as a pained look flashed across his face, then Gus let out a nervous laugh.

“Ahahaha, uh, why can’t anyone know? I-I mean, Eda has done worse, right? We wouldn’t… wanna keep secrets from people, like our good friends.” Gus gave a meaningful nod over Luz’s shoulder. “Right?”

Luz shook her head, oblivious of the foreboding presence looming behind her. No matter how much Gus glanced meaningfully over the human’s shoulder, Luz simply didn’t catch on.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Luz raised an eyebrow. “Under no circumstances can Willow find out about this. She must never know. Willow would kill me if she found out I– ”

“Never know what, exactly?” spoke a familiar voice. Luz instantly froze up and spun around to see none other than her good friend, Willow. The blue-haired witch glared at her two friends, tapping her foot impatiently.

Luz released her grip on Gus, making the boy stumble, and gave Willow a nervous grin. 

“Willow! You snuck up on me, you sneaky dog you! When, uh, exactly did you– ” She stopped dead when Willow’s glare intensified. Luz’s expression fell. “You saw the whole thing, didn’t you?”

“Obviously. So, I guess your promises mean nothing, huh? Didn’t you give your word to not interfere with Eda’s love life?

Luz sulked. “Yes, I did say that… but Willow, they need my help!”

“No, they don’t, Luz.” Willow rubbed her temples. For a witch no older than fourteen, Willow felt much older than she truly was. “After all, look at what your ‘help’ has accomplished so far. They had to run away from guards, and a lovesick demon got his face kicked in.”

“To be fair, the guards would have chased them away with or without my help,” said Luz, desperate to shuffle some blame off herself. Willow just raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you feel compelled to get them together, Luz? I know you’re a romantic at heart, but is it really worth all this collateral damage?”

“Because I want them to be happy!” Luz answered sharply, shouting so loud that passerbyers looked their way. When Luz noticed, she blushed in embarrassment and bowed her head.

“... and I really wanna meet Carmeilita Noceda-Clawthorne…” she added under her breath.

Willow facepalmed while Gus tilted his head to the side. “Who’s that?”

Dragging her hand across her face, Willow said, “Luz, what did I tell you about getting attached to hypothetical half-siblings?”

Luz didn’t meet Willow’s eyes as she meekly said, “Don’t?”

“Yes, don’t! Once you name it, you become attached to it!” Willow gave a frustrated groan, then took a few deep breaths. Once she calmed down, Willow placed a hand on Luz’s shoulder and gave a most patient look. “I know that you want to be a big sister, and to meet Carmeilita, but–”

“Carmeilita Noceda-Clawthorne! You gotta say the full name, it sounds way cooler,” insisted Luz, receiving a deadpan frown from her bespeckled friend. But Luz was already in her own little world as she kept rambling on.

“My mom would call her Carmel, and Eda would call her Lita, but everyone else has to say the full name. She would take multi-track courses in the Healer and Potion Tracks, and her life’s dream would be to create the perfect medicine to cure Eda’s curse. She would wear a cute scarf and have yellow-and-brown eyes. If she inherits any part of the Owl-Beast curse, Carmelita Noceda-Clawthorne would have tiny owl wings and fluffy ears, but she’s otherwise the sweetest witch you ever did see! And maybe she– “

“Luz!” Willow shouted, shaking her friend out of her rant. “You shouldn’t get them together for those reasons. Carmelite doesn’t exist, and you need to let the adults be adults and run their own lives. Also, you have way too much time on your hands if you’ve already thought up so much about their kid.”

Luz shrugged. “I was grounded for a whole week. I didn’t have a lot to do.”

“She got grounded for wrecking a theater in her last attempt to get them together.” Gus giggled, making Luz go pale and Willow gasp in outrage.

“Gus!”

“You did what!?”

* * *

  
  


After getting chewed out by her Mom-friend, Willow, the three friends finally got around to shopping. They perused the stalls as they planned, and despite the day’s earlier chaos, it was a pretty good way to cap everything off.

While Gus and Willow tried out different hats, from a derby that gave its wearer a funny moustache to a pork pie that turned its wearer into a pig, Luz found herself distracted. Off in the distance, she could see a couple having a lunch date together, a handsome witch, and a towering demon. Despite the lack of any real similarities to her mom or Eda, it still made Luz think about them.

And then suddenly, it clicked. Perhaps it had to do with finally giving up on the date ideas that let one flow through, or maybe it just had to do with the rebellious nature Eda was rubbing off on her making her want to disregard Willow’s scoldings, but finally she had a eureka moment, and an idea was forged. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of something so simple before!

“I got it! I know exactly what to do!” thought Luz. She spared a glance towards Willow and sent her a mental apology. If this plan didn’t somehow work, then she swore not to meddle any more. Pinkie promise, even! But it wouldn’t come to that, and before the week was out, Eda and Camila would surely be the hottest new item on the Boiling Isles.

After all, Luz had the perfect plan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go, are you guys as excited about it as we are? 
> 
> While we've got you here, we thought we'd talk about headcanons. One thing we love about fics, is it really lets people get their ideas out, and share them with others. This chapter has a few, specifically about the differences between humans and witches, in the form of their sense of taste. 
> 
> I, Gemini, have lots of headcanons I like to slip into these fics. One being that Witches grow taller than humans would. And where witches have magic, I like to think that natures way of compensating for humans is that they're stronger, and denser. Maybe it's Eda's owl transformation influencing me, but I like to think Witch's have less dense bones, like how Bird's bones are hollow. 
> 
> As for humans being stronger, our ancestors had to survive through the ice age, and mega-fauna that is comparable to that of the Isles, but had to use spears instead of magic. Humans are built for close range, while Witches are squishy, and better at ranged combat.
> 
> Demons are bigger, and stronger, physically and magically, than both humans and witches. They get the best of both worlds. unless their name happens to be King. 
> 
> If you guys have any cool headcanons, we'd love to hear about them in the comments.


	5. The Fifth (and Final) One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one, so we're going to save the notes for the end. Hope you enjoy the last chapter!

The weather was mild that day on the Boiling Isles. The sun shone brightly, casting its warmth over the Owl House. As a golden light peered through her bedroom window, Luz Noceda scribbled the final words on a piece of notebook paper. With this letter written, her plan could begin.

Last night, Luz booked a table at the _Os De Doigt_ , one of Bonesborough’s many restaurants. It wasn’t exactly five star dining, nor the prettiest place in town, but it was all her pitiful allowance could afford. After blowing her Snails on those flowers, Luz didn’t have much money to throw around. However, the _Os De Doigt_ sure sounded fancy, and what was more romantic than a moonlight dinner for two?

Of course, if Luz was going to lure her Mom and Eda to this restaurant, she needed to be sneaky. So, her plan was simple: Luz had forged a letter for each of them, anonymously inviting the other on a date to the  _ Os De Doigt _ . When they arrived and met face-to-face, Eda and Camila would realize each other’s feelings, fall head-over-heels, and start dating. Then everything would be perfect!

That was easier said than done, however. While Luz was an excellent artist, her work in the way of forgery needed a lot of improvement, at least according to Eda. It was difficult imitating both her Mom’s and Eda’s handwriting styles, and try as she might, Luz couldn’t quite match Camila’s fanciful cursive or Eda’s messy scrawl. 

Still, Luz did her best and prayed to the heavens that her phony letters weren’t uncovered by the eagle-eyed Eda. 

After writing the final syllable, Luz dusted the eraser shavings off the letters and reviewed them with a critical eye.

_ “You are cordially invited to join me for an amazing dinner. _

_ Meet me at 7 PM at the  Os De Doigt . Tonight only!  _

_ XOXOXO” _

It was the X’s and O’s that really sealed the romantic message. After all, a lipstick kiss on the envelope was a mite too far, and Luz was nothing if not a master of subtlety. 

After Luz eyeballed the letters, she smiled with satisfaction. Sure, she could pick out one or two mistakes, but her handwriting was about as close to the genuine article as she was going to get. After sliding the letters into their envelopes, Luz hopped off her bed and ran out of her room, past the pile of half-crumpled, half-torn papers overflowing from her wastebasket. 

With the grace of a three-legged kitten, Luz snuck into her Mom’s room, followed by Eda’s. She left the letters in discreet locations that could still be easily spotted, and Luz only tripped over the furniture one or five times in her haste.

With the pieces in place, Luz just had to play the waiting game. Come nightfall, the Boiling Isles would be witness to the greatest romance in this or any dimension, and Luz would have a front row seat to it. After the Flower Disaster, Luz fully intended to watch the romance from afar, to ensure everything went smoothly. She couldn’t have any exes stumbling on the scene, any falling chandeliers, or anything else getting in the way of true love.

That’s why Luz carried a purse with enough fire glyphs to burn down the Emperor’s Castle, and enough ice glyphs to freeze the Emperor’s Coven solid tenfold. Nothing would stop Luz in her pursuit to make her maternal figures happy, nothing!

That’s when a soft gurgle came from Luz’s belly, making the human glance down. It was only now that Luz realized that she had been so busy that she skipped lunch. 

“Oh, shoot. I cannot concentrate on an empty stomach! How can I appreciate the fruits of my labor when my belly is making the rumblies?” said Luz. She pursed her lips. Maybe she oughta grab some snacks on the way there…

* * *

Luz had plenty of time before her Mom and Eda were due to arrive, so after stopping at her favorite candy store, the Tongue & Cheek, she bought an armful of chips, gummies, and other exotic treats. With her pockets empty of Snails, the human navigated the busy streets of Bonesborough, barely able to peer over the stack of snacks. Luz privately prayed that she didn’t bump into someone, or drop her–

“Luz?”

The sudden call made Luz jump, dropping her snacks onto the ground in the process. She hastily bent over to pick them up, before some magical raccoon or rogue palismon stole them. As she reached for a packet of gummy wyrms, Luz’s hand brushed against someone else’s. 

Luz tilted her head up and her brown eyes met a pair of familiar yellow. When she realized who it was, a cry of relief escaped the human.

“Amity!”

The green-haired witch’s cheeks turned a dark shade of red. Luz didn’t pull her hand away, and Amity was caught between the desire to grip the human’s hand and never let go, or pull away like it was a red hot iron. She chose the middle ground and babbled incoherently like an idiot before shaking her head.

Once she reclaimed a fraction of her composure, Amity spoke.

“Oh, Luz! Y-you’re here!” Amity let out a jittery giggle, grabbed the bag of gummies, and handed it to Luz. When the two girls stood up, a gentle, if lovestruck grin filled her face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you! I was just wondering… what are you doing?”

Luz grinned in return, yoinked the bag away, and returned it to the towering stack. She peered around the snack stack, careful not to spill it again. “I’m on a secret mission, related to the whole ‘hitch-my-mom-and-Eda-into-the-perfect-couple’ thing.”

Amity chuckled and crossed her arms. She gave a coy smirk, desperately hoping it looked way cooler than how she felt right now. “It’s not exactly a ‘secret’ if you tell me, is it? Whatever happened to your last plan, you know, with the whole ‘romantic theater night?’”

“Uh, it, well – ” Luz’s eyes darted left-and-right. She bounced on the heels of her feet, quickly searching for an excuse.

“Let me guess: a Luz-sized catastrophe brought everything crashing down?”

Luz grimaced at the apt choice of words. “Yeah… I’m super sorry for wasting those tickets, Amity. If it’s any consolation, there wasn’t too much collateral damage! The theater is still standing… even if the stage isn’t.”

Amity gave a casual shrug. “It's no skin off my back, Luz: I didn’t buy those tickets with my money. And with the stage wrecked, my parents won’t drag me to the World’s Theater for a long while.”

Admittedly, Amity had hoped she could take Luz to the theater soon. She planned for them to see ‘Tombeo and Ghouliet,’ and perhaps the performance would inspire Luz to finally notice her feelings. But the ruined stage was a big setback, so Amity bit back her disappointment and filed the plan away for a possible date in the far, far,  _ far  _ future.

With her treats in hand, Luz shifted her weight back-and-forth. She couldn’t hang around to chat all day, but neither did she want to leave Amity behind. As always, she found the witch’s presence soothing in a way Luz couldn’t quite put to words. That’s when she was struck by a great idea.

“Oh, I know! I need to make up for those tickets–”

“Luz, those tickets cost thousands of Snails. I cannot ask you to –” Amity began, but the human wasn’t about to stop just because Amity was too generous for her own good.

“ –  so how would you like to hang out with me during the stake out?”

“Deal!” shouted Amity, her voice so loud that it blew back Luz’s hair. With her ears ringing, Luz nodded her head.

“Great, I just know we’ll have tons of fun! Come on, let’s get going!” Luz readjusted the pile of snacks to free up a hand, then offered it to Amity. The green-haired witch gleefully accepted it, and the two girls walked down the street.

“So… what exactly is a ‘stake out?’” asked Amity, only now realizing that she hadn’t a clue what she signed up for. She was just so excited at the prospect of hanging out with Luz that the details flew over her head. Curse her impulsive heart!

“Well, it's pretty much what they do in cop shows–” Luz began

“I have no idea what a ‘cop’ is, Luz.” Amity raised an eyebrow to her crush, who tilted her head to the side. All-too-often, Luz forgot the unspoken cultural divide between their species. 

“Oh, right! Do ‘police officers’ ring a bell? The Po Po? The Fuzz?” Luz tried various forms of slang, but each time she only earned a blank stare from Amity. After a few more tries, Luz gave up and let out a sigh. “Coven Guards. They’re like the Coven Guards.”

Amity blinked, then nodded her head in understanding. “Oh! Okay, please continue.”

“Anyways, whenever the cops are waiting for a crime they know is going to happen, they call it a ‘stake out.’ They find someplace nearby and watch out for the criminals. It can get really boring, so I’m glad we ran into each other!”

Luz nudged Amity in the shoulder and gave her a playful wink. “It’ll be way more interesting with you at my side, partner!”

Amity’s heart felt like it was swelling, fit to burst. Just her and Luz, all alone, eating snacks, and trading banter for hours on end? That sounded like positive bliss! Should Amity even indulge herself so much? The witch felt a stab of fear, just in case the sound of her hammering heart could be overheard.

Glancing at the mountain of snacks weighing Luz down, Amity remembered her manners.

“Here, let me help with that.” With a twirl of her finger, an Abomination rose from the ground, took Luz’s load and carried it in it’s sludgy arms as if they weighed nothing.

“Gee, thanks Amity!” Luz shot her a knees-weakening grin and tightened her grasp on Amity’s hand. “Come on, I’ll lead the way!”

While Amity tried to hold together her melting heart, the two girls walked along. Luz chattered on-and-on about anything and everything, while Amity could only focus on her crush’s dulcet tones.

There was so much about humans that Amity didn’t understand. High Fives, Stake Outs, the Fuzz, it was as fascinating as it was confusing. The most baffling thing of all, however, was Luz herself. 

Amity never had a crush before; at least, not one as intense as this. Looking back on her childhood, Amity probably had crushes on many of her friends. She recalled how her eyes lingered on Boscha whenever they played Grudgby, her body sweaty from the heat of the sun. Even if Boscha had the personality of hot garbage, she was very pretty garbage. Once or twice, Amity caught herself staring at Skara and wondering how soft her skin was, and she even thought Amelia looked cute in a bookish sorta way. 

Thinking farther back, Amity realized she probably once had a crush on Willow too, perhaps her very first. Amity remembered how they played House some days, thinking they’d get married one day and live in a real house, a place twice as big as Blight Manor with no parents or twins to bother them. 

Thinking on that, Amity realized that old crush was far more innocent, and partly based on a fantasy to escape her own home. It certainly didn’t last: yes, Amity loved Willow now, but strictly as a friend. 

Compared to Amity’s crush on Luz, however, all those baby crushes felt silly and fanciful. There was something about her crush on Luz that felt so different, so special, so intense. Whenever Amity was around Luz, her body broke out into a sweat and her mouth went numb. Even hours after they said goodbye, Amity felt the human’s warmth on her skin, and her heart ached whenever she thought of Luz. Never before could someone make Amity feel so smart and so dumb at the same time, and just thinking of Luz’s laughter made Amity feel all soft and gooey inside.

Worse, the human seemed to feed on physical affection, like a body warmth-stealing vampire. She showered Amity with physical contact like no witch had ever shown her before, whether it was holding her hand, embracing her with ‘hugs,’ doing high fives, linking their arms, or kissing her cheek. Apparently such behavior was routine in the Human Realm, but here on the Boiling Isles, such contact was rare outside the most intimate and lovestruck of couples, and usually in private. 

Luz, however, reveled in such physical intimacy on a regular basis. Her utter lack of personal space left Amity flustered and red like she’d never felt before, and she wasn’t the only one: many of Hexside’s students learned what hugs were first-hand from the human. It’s probably why Luz was so popular at school, because so many people were left warm and fuzzy after untold years of being starved for affection. 

And no one was more affection-starved and hungry for it than Amity herself.

To think, most witches just had to deal with their normal, everyday crushes, wondering what their favorite witch in the world was doing, whether their held gaze meant anything, and maybe holding hands after months of dating. But Amity had to deal with Luz’s constant affection. Amity couldn’t even remember a time where her parents kissed each other! It was all so suffocating, yet Amity wouldn’t have it any other way. 

It was funny, really. Who would have thought that Amity Blight, Little Miss Perfect, top of her class, couldn’t even hear what her crush was saying while walking right beside her, because her own heart was thumping in her ears? Who would expect Amity to be someone who blushed like mad simply from having her hand held? It was enough to make Amity feel ridiculous, and at the same time, so wonderfully blessed. 

While Amity continued her contemplation, she heard a faint voice off in the distance. It came in soft and muffled at first, like her pointed ears were stuffed with felt. Then, like a blowhorn, the voice pierced through the fog and straight into Amity’s brain.

“Amity? Amiiity? Amity!?” 

“Huh, wha!?” 

Amity turned her head this way and that, only to notice Luz peering at her closely. Their noses were nearly touching, and once again, Amity pondered if humans had a concept for ‘personal boundaries.’ 

Her heart nearly erupting from her chest, Amity pushed Luz out of her face and adjusted her clothes.

“Y-Yes, Luz? What is it?”

“We’re here!” Luz gestured to a large bush, which stood on the opposite side of the street to _ Os De Doigt _ . Amity’s Abomination stood beside the plant, having already shoved the snacks inside. The purple goo golem gave its master a look of pride, fully expecting words of praise.

After patting the goo golem on its head and giving it a thankful nod, Amity returned the Abomination from whence it came. While she dried her hand off, Amity turned to the human. “I’m sorry, Luz. I kind of zoned out there, what were you saying before?”

“Oh, nothing important.” Putting down a plant glyph, Luz magically spread apart the branches and leaves of the bush, leaving a spacious gap in its center without damaging it. She then hopped inside and held out a hand, inviting Amity to follow her. “I was just explaining how my last plan failed horribly, in the classic Noceda tradition!”

Amity clambered beside Luz, hoping none of the twigs tore a hole in her clothes. She did her best to put some space between herself and Luz; the last thing Amity needed was going gaa-gaa every time they rubbed shoulders.

Shaking her head, Amity said, “Luz, you and your little schemes… You would peel the skin off your back to help someone else.”

“Do you mean shirt? It’s ‘give the shirt off your back’ on Earth,” said Luz.

A disgusted look appeared on Amity’s face. “Do you have an abundance of naked people running around your realm? Ugh, no no, the saying on the Isles is ‘peel the skin off your back,’ as in, you’d do something stupid and self-destructive to help someone else.”

Luz wrinkled her brow in concern, but quickly distracted herself by pulling out a pair of binoculars. She peered through them, checking to see if her Mom or Eda had arrived yet. When she only spotted the empty restaurant, she lowered the binoculars.

In an uncertain tone, Luz asked, “... do you really think what I’m doing is stupid?”

A soft sigh escaped Amity and she shook her head. “No. Sorry, I should have chosen my words better. It's just… every time you tried to ‘help’ Eda and Camila fall in love, things turned out badly. But I do understand wanting someone you love to be happy…”

Amity put a hand to her chest and clenched it tight. “... even when it hurts.”

Luz said nothing; it wasn’t often Amity used that tone of voice. If she guessed correctly, Amity was referring to her crush, the lucky witch she wanted to ask to Grom. To be honest, Luz could hardly imagine who Amity's crush was: there was no one at Hexside nearly smart enough, strong enough, or talented enough to be worthy of her bestest best friend’s adoration. Perhaps they went to a different school…?

“I see…” Luz said, unsure what else to say. To fill the silence, she popped open a bag of chips and offered them to Amity. These were her favorite, sin-aamon and caramel apple chips.

Amity took a handful and popped them in her mouth, one at a time. As her mouth watered at the devilishly sweet flavors, she said, “Hey, Luz? Why do you want your Mom and Eda to date so badly?”

Luz licked her lips nervously; there was still no sign of the adults, and it felt hot in the bush. She opened her mouth to answer, only to pause in thought, wanting to be sure of what she was going to say. When Luz finally spoke, her voice was gently somber. 

“I just… I guess I just want us to be a family?”

When Amity tilted her head to the side, so Luz elaborated. “Like, a real family. Like, two moms and their kid, and maybe a little sister someday?”

Luz squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. The weight of Amity’s eyes felt enormous, and worse, as the words spilled out of her mouth, she realized how painful the truth was. Luz Noceda wasn’t the most introspective girl, and as she explored her feelings, she realized how dark the depths of her soul could be.

“I really don’t remember my dad. Mom never talks about him, and when I was younger, her eyes ached whenever I asked questions. Eventually, I stopped bothering.” Luz gave a helpless shrug. “So it's always been us, just my Mom and me. Sure, she dated a bit, but none of her relationships lasted long enough for me to even meet them.”

Curling up her legs and holding them tightly, Luz rested her chin on her knees. It was like she was striving to become as small as possible, while still keeping her head held high.

“And call me silly, but back then I… no, never mind.” Luz sniffled and wiped her eyes dry with the back of her hand. A pained grin crossed her face as she struggled to keep her voice level. “The point is, if I could help make my Mom happier by sacrificing a little… why shouldn’t I?”

That was the first time Amity heard Luz ever talk this way, especially about her dad. Father figures were never an easy subject for the green-haired witch, but pushing aside her own questions, she put a hand on Luz’s shoulder. The human brightened up at the touch, if only somewhat.

Letting out a sigh, Luz continued. “And Eda, well, she’s like a second mom to me! She’s a real goofball, and helps Mom relax. And my Mom knows when to hold Eda back, to tell her when enough is enough. They have so much fun together, and… I’ve never seen my Mom as happy as when she’s with Eda.”

Putting a hand over Amity’s, Luz said in a soft voice, “What I really want, I guess, is to have a whole family. A complete family, where my Mom and I aren’t just living in Eda’s house, but that it's our house. A place we both belong. I guess when I put it like that, it sounds a bit selfish of me, doesn’t it?” 

Amity stared at Luz in silence, then shook her head. “I take back what I said. I do think you’re being stupid.”

Luz’s eyes shot out of her skull and she gaped at Amity like she committed a grand betrayal. The witch chuckled to herself and gently gripped Luz’s shoulder. “Luz, can you imagine, even for a second, Eda settling down with anyone? Even your Mom?” 

The human bit her lip, then slowly shook her head. She really couldn’t imagine it. Who could ever picture Eda in a bridal veil, walking down the aisle with someone standing beside a preacher? Maybe Eda would try for a big scam, but never for real. That witch put the ‘gold’ in the word 'gold digger,’ and that’s if Eda didn’t already swipe the gold before the vows were read. 

Amity smiled sadly, but continued. “Luz, marriage isn’t what makes a family. Just look at my parents, for example. But more importantly, if you think for even a moment that Eda isn’t your real family, or you think she really sees you and your Mom as the people who live in her house, then you really are an idiot.”

Tilting her head to the side, Amity gave Luz a sweet smile. “That old crone loves you two. In her own weird way, Eda loves you with all her heart.”

Despite herself, Luz broke out into giggles. It was rare Amity looked so earnest, and never before had Luz felt so very silly. “Yeah, I guess I am pretty stupid. How could I ever think that? Thanks, Amity. You always know just what to say to brighten my day.”

The human let out a snort and shook her head. “Aaaaand I just thanked you for calling me stupid. Gah, I’m all over the place today, huh?”

That earned a smirk from Amity, who scooted over to Luz until their shoulders bumped together. She playfully ruffled Luz’s hair, knocking the beanie off her head in the process. “It’s a good thing you’ve got me then, eh? Don’t worry, Luz: even when you’re acting your silliest, I’ll always be there to smack some sense into you.”

Luz chuckled, then glanced between the restaurant and her binoculars. In a thoughtful tone, she said, “Hey, Amity? Do you think… we should call this off then?”

Amity froze, her hand still on Luz’s head. After a painful few seconds of contemplation, she shrugged her shoulders. “I can’t really answer that, Luz. I… well, I’m not exactly the right person to tell you to stop. It’d be pretty hypocritical of me, actually.”

She glanced at Luz, who shot her a curious look that just begged for more answers. Gulping, Amity continued. “I’m not exactly a stranger to elaborate romance plots, Luz. For months, I’ve planned schemes to ensnare my crush. Unlike you though, I’m not brave enough to see it through. I always get cold feet, afraid she’ll reject me.”

Luz’s eyebrows twitched and she mouthed the word ‘she.’ This was the first time she knew the gender of Amity’s crush. Perhaps foolishly, Luz always assumed it was a boy Amity was chasing after. This revelation filled Luz with an untold excitement, yet there was an ache of pain in Luz’s heart that she couldn’t quite explain. Amity just spoke of this mystery crush with such… reverence, such adoration that it hurt Luz to think someone else occupied the biggest spot in her bestest best friend’s heart.

When Luz next spoke, she put a hand over her chest. “I’m sure you’re overthinking it, Amity. Who wouldn’t wanna date someone as amazing and pretty as you?”

Amity blushed, shrinking under Luz’s praise. “I know, I know. Maybe I’m just being a coward? It’s just…”

The witch twirled a lock of green hair between her fingers. “It’s just… What if I’m not good enough? Until a few months ago, I was a bully, pushing people around like I was better than them. I’ve changed, I know I have, but… what if it's not enough? Have I changed enough to win their love?”

A sharp snort escaped the witch, who shook her head and grinned ruefully. “Gah, just listen to me! I must sound so silly, afraid my heart will be broken at a mere confession. Maybe that’s why Willow keeps pestering me to go for it, to spill my guts? But my crush just doesn’t get it when I do small things.”

Throwing her arms into the air, Amity half-shouted, “But whenever I plan something big and romantic, so the message gets through her thick, beautiful skull, I chicken out! My legs get shaky, my breath goes short, and I can barely get a word out. I’m such a mess.”

Luz nudged her best friend in the shoulder, curiosity and amazement on her face. A small part of her felt a twinge of jealousy: why did Amity trust Willow with the identity of her crush, and not her best friend Luz? Then again, they were the oldest of friends, so perhaps she was reading too much into it? Maybe Willow just figured it out?

Regardless, Luz raised an eyebrow, eager for any answers Amity could give. “Really? I don’t remember you nearly confessing to someone. Heh, she must be awfully dumb to not notice your feelings at this point!”

That made Amity chuckle and she nodded. “Yeah, she is. But she’s awfully sweet too, the kindest person I know. If it means us getting together, I can be patient.”

Another prickle of pain stabbed at Luz’s heart like a needle, but she ignored it. Leaning her head back, she asked, “So what kind of stuff did you plan for her?”

Amity buried her face in her hands, trying to hide her blush. Right now, she was performing a tight-rope act; at the smallest slip up, she could very well blurt out her feelings or expose her intentions to Luz. But this wasn’t the right time or place: they were crammed in a bush, spying on Luz’s mother figures! It was hardly the most romantic setting for a confession.

“Oh, I-I cannot tell you that! I’ve already burdened Willow so much, I don’t want to bother you too…”

The human simply shook her head and gave one of those warm smiles that made Amity’s mind turn to mush. “It’s no trouble at all! I’m always happy to listen to you, Amity!”

With her eyes peeking past her fingers, Amity thought, “ _ Sweet Merciful Titan! That smile is so unfair. It should be a war crime to be so cute. Aaah, what are you doing to me, Luz _ ?”

Letting out a deep breath, Amity took the plunge. After all, she was already in the deep end; if she happened to swim into a shark, so be it. “Well, once, I planned this huge party for the two of us. It had everything: cake, food, romantic lighting, everything. I, uh, really went overboard. I’m just glad Willow talked me out of renting a jester…”

Luz’s eyes glimmered at the thought of a giant cake, its multiple tiers towering towards the sky. She hoped it was chocolate-flavored, maybe with some fruit filling too? “That sounds awfully great! Why didn’t you do it?”

“Well, it was her birthday. And while she likes me as a friend, I wasn’t sure if she wanted to spend the whole day with me, or if she wanted to spend it with her family and her other friends. I felt so selfish for hogging her to myself, and…” Amity abruptly stopped, feeling her anxiety kicking up. She took a deep breath before continuing. “... the party was still a success. I just invited everyone else at the last minute and turned it into a surprise party.”

Amity closed her eyes, the memory of Luz’s chocolate-covered face fresh in her mind. The silly human had eaten a slice of cake the size of her head in three bites, surpassing the gluttony of some demons. The witch smiled. “But, I think it turned out okay. She was happy, and that was good enough for me.”

Luz awed, clasping her hands together. She ignored the pit in her gut, which gnawed away her insides; Luz told herself it was a sweetness overload from too many gummy wyrms.

“That sounds adorable, Ams!” said Luz. She leaned forward, the smile on her face growing strained. “This is the first time you’re really opening up about your crush! I wanna do everything I can to make you two happy. Is she someone I know?”

Amity blanched and turned away. She thought about changing the subject, but it did feel good to be open with Luz. With a heavy sigh, she gingerly nodded her head. “Yes, you know her. I would go so far to say you know her intimately.” 

Luz leaning in closer, making Amity sputter at her closeness. The witch’s green hair nearly caught fire from the sheer head exuding from her face. “Go ooooon? Tell me more, I want to know who was so lucky to snag the heart of the best girl in Hexide.”

“I don’t know why you want to know about her…” Amity grumbled, trying to put more distance between Luz’s face and her own.

“I want to make sure she’s good enough for you!” said Luz, firmly. “Only the best for my Amity!”

‘My Amity’ rang through the brown-and-green haired witch’s mind, momentarily shutting it down. Luz was going to give her a heart attack if she kept using that kind of language. 

“Well, okay, fine,” mumbled Amity, unable to resist her crush’s wishes. She cleared her throat. “Well, she… she’s very carefree. And nice. And wonderful. And… so many more words, I could go on all day.” 

Amity couldn’t help but smirk. There was no way she could ever sum up all the reasons she loved Luz, but she would try, dammit!

“She taught me how to be myself. How to stand up for myself. She’s as gorgeous as she is brave, and as stupid as she is smart. If that makes any sense at all.” Amity shifted in her seat, unable to meet Luz’s eyes. Instead, she glanced towards  _ Os De Doigt _ , where she idly noticed Camila and Eda in their seats. 

Amity briefly wondered if she should alert Luz to this, but she refrained. Luz would notice them in time, and she was enjoying their time alone.

“My heart feels light whenever she’s around, like I’ve been swept off my feet and I’m soaring through the sky. All my worries simply… drift away because I know she’ll support me and stay by my side through thick and thin.” 

The pit in Luz’s stomach grew bigger and bigger the more Amity spoke. The green-haired witch practically glowed as she thought about her crush, and for once in her life, Luz felt like this was one light she could never reach.

Letting out a dreamy sigh, Amity turned her eyes skyward. “Call me a romantic, but I want to take her for a ride once I earn my staff. I can picture it: her and me, streaking across a golden red sky while the sun sinks into the Boiling Sea. Her arms around my waist, the wind streaking through our hair. It would be… the perfect moment, where it feels like we’re the only people in the world and that’s okay, we’re okay.”

Then, just as quickly as Amity’s voice grew light, the witch deflated. “As light as it makes me feel, at the same time, this crush is a huge weight to carry. I wanna blurt out my feelings every time I see her, but this stupid fear makes my throat close up. That makes me feel like I’ve downed a six pack of love potions and am going to be sick. Especially when she holds my hand, or hugs me, or– ”

Amity froze, inhaling sharply. She’d said too much, she had said far too much. No one else hugged on the Boiling Isles. While she could pass off a high five, as those had caught on pretty fast, hugs were almost exclusively a Luz thing. Like a statue pivoting on the spot, Amity turned her head towards Luz, praying the human was as dense as usual…

Instead she was met with a pair of wide eyes. Inside Luz’s head, somewhere in the dense fog that was her brain, a single moment of clarity flickered into existence, like a fire had sprung to life. Suddenly, months of confusion and embarrassment was brought into focus and made a lot more sense. 

She was Amity’s crush. Amity had a crush on Luz. Her best friend, Amity the witch, was in love with her. That single thought echoed throughout Luz’s hollow skull until it reverberated throughout her whole being. 

All the times Amity had seemed flushed, when she’d passed it off as her being angry, or sick, or flustered over something else, passed through her mind. Leaning against her locker, trying to look cool for someone that Luz assumed would be passing through the hallway any minute, but wouldn’t be passing because she was already there. All the stuttering in Luz’s presence, all the times their faces had been too close and Amity’s eyes glanced downwards. Luz realized now that Amity had broken eye contact to look at her lips, probably wondering if she could steal a kiss and get away with it.

Then, a memory rose to the surface of Luz’s mind unbidden, a memory of a certain phone call. Luz groaned, throwing her hands over her face. “Oh. My. Titan. You thought I was asking you out on a date last week! I’m so sorry Amity, I am such an idiot!”

Amity, who was ready to swear up-and-down that the sky wasn’t blue if it meant Luz would believe her denials of love, could only utter a single word.

“What?”

“When I asked if you could get those tickets, you must have thought I was asking you on a date. I even specified that it was for a romantic night.” Luz gave an apologetic frown. “That was… so not cool of me. I must have hurt your feelings so much! I am so, so sorry, Amity.”

The witch, overwhelmed by the fear and uncertainty raging just beneath the surface, could only lower her gaze and run her fingers through her hair. “Y-you don’t mind that I l-like you?”

Luz took Amity’s hands into her own, noticing how crimson her friend’s face went. To see Amity react so strongly to her touch made the human’s heart flutter, and with a gentle voice, she said, “Amity! Of course I don’t mind. I just learned that the most beautiful, wonderful, smartest girl on the Boiling Isles likes me. How could I ever hate that?”

Leaning forward, Luz pressed her forehead against Amity’s. While Luz closed her eyes with a blissful grin, Amity stared at Luz in desperate hope. It felt like Amity’s whole world was frozen still, and a single misspoken word out of Luz’s lips could shatter her like glass. 

“And you wanna know what else?”

“What?”

Luz thought over the past week or so. The sound of Amity’s voice, the surge of joy in her chest when Amity compared her smile to sunshine, the vision of green-and-brown hair in her mind when Oakley had asked if she was buying flowers for a date. The wrenching in her guts while Amity talked about her crush, which Luz now recognized as jealousy. 

Without realizing it, Amity had crept her way into Luz’s heart, worming inside until she occupied Luz’s thoughts at the slightest notice. Hah, some ‘master of romance’ she was! Luz barely knew her own heart, much less the hearts of others. 

The human leaned in closer until she felt Amity’s uneven breath grazing her face.

“I think… I think I like you too…” There was less than an inch between them now, and Luz couldn’t tear her eyes away from Amity’s golden orbs. There was something electric in the air that drew the two girls together, and like magnets, neither resisted the pull. 

“Hey, Amity?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Can… can I kiss you?”

Luz barely got the words out before Amity’s lips crashed into her own. Amity pushed with enough force that their teeth clinked together, and in her eagerness, the kiss ended up far from magical. It was a messy affair with their foreheads bonking and their noses not fitting right, and they had the uncomfortable realization they were still, in fact, inside of a bush on the side of the street, with twigs poked into their sides.

The kiss was so bad, the two had broken down into giggles, and especially snorts on Luz’s side. They tumbled out of the bush, eager to leave it’s inhospitable embrace, and brushed away the leaves that followed with them. As soon as they were freed, and they made sure they were alone on this side of the street, they tried again, leaning in and tried again. 

This kiss was slower, gentler, and it felt like they were kissing the softest of clouds. They held each other’s faces with the greatest of care, sharing their tender young love. Amity wasn’t sure if it was the Gummy Wyrms or Luz’s natural taste, but Luz’s sweet lips on her own felt so rich that the witch could hardly pry herself away. 

This was totally worth the wait.

When their lips finally parted, Amity let out a soft mew of protest. It was so cute and precious that Luz could hardly contain herself, and wrapping her arms around the witch’s waist, Luz smiled fondly. 

“Wow… I am an idiot. How could I not notice sooner? How long could we have been doing this?”

“About eight months, six days, ten hours, and twenty-four minutes,” said Amity, hugging the human back. “But who’s counting?”

“Guess we’ll have to make up for lost time,” said Luz, suggestively wiggling her eyebrows at the witch. When she went in for another kiss, however, Luz paused as another mental slot fell into place. “Hey, wait a minute… Didn’t Willow arrange my birthday party?”

Amity laughed, burying her face in Luz’s shoulder. “I asked her to take the credit. I didn’t want you to catch on, or think I liked you or anything.”

“Ooh, a tsundere~ I like it! You know, I was doing the same thing with my Mom and Eda. I didn’t want them to catch on to what I was doing, and think they were the ones falling, instead of knowing I was setting them up and-”

Just then, Luz’s eyes bugged out of her skull, and grabbing her binoculars, she focused her gaze on  _ Os De Doigt.  _ She quickly searched for the reserved table, and sure enough, her Mom and Eda were sitting down with a bowl of bone-shaped breadsticks and skull goblets.

“Oh, cramity! I totally forgot about their date! They’re here!” shouted Luz. She gazed in silent anxiety for a few seconds, then the human’s grimace fell. Slowly, she lowered the binoculars and gazed at Amity, contemplating their earlier conversation.

With a heavy sigh, Luz shook her head and said, “Amity, what am I doing?”

A bolt of cold dread shot through Amity’s heart, but when the human’s gaze returned to the restaurant, she realized Luz wasn’t questioning them getting together. While a wave of relief washed over her, Amity gave the human a knowing look and said, “I don’t know, Luz. What are you doing?” 

Luz nodded her head, finding her resolve. “Willow was right. I should leave them alone. If there is any love between them, they’ll see it eventually. No more meddling.” 

She held out a hand, which Amity took without hesitation. As Luz led the witch across the street, Amity eyed the hand in hers. For reasons she couldn’t explain, it felt so tender and warm, like the gentlest flame in a pyromancer’s grasp. The hand felt like it belonged there, and for the first time in a while, Amity was more than happy for someone else to lead her.

The two girls walked into the restaurant, weaving past tables and patrons until they reached Camila and Eda’s spot. Luz expected them to look surprised at their arrival, to wonder why their date was interrupted, but instead Eda took one glance and said, “It’s about time you showed up! Didn’t your note say 7 PM?”

Camila nodded. “You’re usually so punctual,  _ Mija _ . I was getting worried about you.”

Luz glanced at Amity, who could only shrug in confusion. With few other options, Luz decided to roll with it. “Uh, how did you guys know it was me? It was supposed to be a surprise!”

Eda rolled her eyes. “Luz, you’re the only person I know who signs anything with Xs and Os. Now, sit your rump down! I’m starving, these breadsticks suck, and your mother wouldn’t let us order anything until you got here.”

“I assume there was some reason you invited us to dinner tonight,  _ Mija _ ?” Camila asked, her gaze shifting between Amity and Luz. Her mother gave Luz an expectant smile, and a blush blossomed across Luz’s cheeks when she realized what her Mom was implying. Was she truly the only one who didn’t see it?

Oh well, it made for a convenient excuse; Luz certainly didn’t want to reveal her true motive right now. Turning to Amity, she silently asked for permission, and after receiving a nod and a gentle squeeze of her hand, Luz turned to Camila and Eda with a serious expression.

“Well, I wanted to invite you out to celebrate! Amity and I, well, we’re– ”

“We’re dating.” Amity finished, before gesturing to a waiter for two more chairs. Meanwhile, Camila clapped her hand excitedly and Eda smirked knowingly.

“Oh, I knew it! I knew it the moment you two walked in, holding hands that that was what this dinner had to be about!” Camila gushed, brimming with pride. She gestured for the two girls to sit as a waiter brought their chairs. “Come, come! Tell us all about it.”

“Yeah yeah, love is beautiful and all that gunk. Glad you two finally resolved that arc,” said Eda. Taking the opportunity, Eda took the waiter by the arm and shoved her menu into his chest. “I’ll take the Chimera Burger with extra-spicy Gargoyle Wings. The burger comes with three patties, right? Or do you grind all three animal parts into one?”

Luz smiled, happy to oblige her mother. Then the human realized she’d spent all her money on snacks, all of which were left abandoned in that bush, and she didn’t have any left to cover two extra people for the dinner bill. 

After many apologies to her new girlfriend, Amity paid for the meal. Luz added it to the ever growing list of favors she would eventually repay.

* * *

  
  


After a mediocre meal at  _ Os De Doigt _ , the night was concluded and everyone returned home. Luz flew her girlfriend (her girlfriend, eeeeeh!) back to Blight Manor with the aid of a borrowed Owlbert, and after streaming through the starry night sky, the two girls shared one last kiss. 

With her lips still tingling from Amity’s touch, Luz was eager to head upstairs and crash into bed. She had so much to tell Willow and Gus, and Luz was ready to text Amity mushy girlfriend stuff well past midnight. However, there was one last thing she needed to do before this whole ‘CamEda’ business was behind her.

Luz had to tell them the truth. 

Steeling her resolve, Luz called her mother and Eda into the living room. Eda was already changed into her pajamas, a comfy purple sweater and blue skirt with bunny slippers, while Camila still wore her day clothes. They sat on the couch together, where Eda leaned against Camila and filed her nails.

They waited patiently for Luz to speak, but the young girl kept pacing back-and-forth around the coffee table, searching for the right words. After a while, Camila gently prodded and said, “Is something the matter, Luz? Did you have something to tell us?”

“If you want us to give you the Talk, Kiddo, I’d prefer if you pestered Lily about it instead. She knows all about that stuff, Titan knows I skipped that health class,” Eda added. Luz flushed crimson, stopping dead in her tracks.

“No no, I just wanted to be honest with you guys about something.” She shot Eda a dirty look, who simply snorted at her apprentice’s flustered expression. “It’s about some of the stuff I’ve been doing this past week...”

Camila shot up in her seat, brimming with maternal concern. “ _ Mija _ , are you doing drugs? It's okay if you are, we still love you and we can work through this together-”

“I thought I told you to stay away from potion fumes?” Eda waggled a finger at Luz, and as ridiculous as it sounded, the human felt warm on the inside. She truly had two wonderful moms.

Shaking her head, Luz said, “No, I haven’t been anything like that! I just… well, it’s about you two.”

“What about us?”

“Well... remember when you gave Eda that makeover? I kinda, sorta, maybe thought that you two were… into each other?” Luz gave the two a sheepish look, tapping her fingers together. “And I sorta, kinda tried to hook you guys up, only for my plans to go horribly, horribly wrong?”

The two adult women went perfectly still, then looked at each other. In the ensuing silence, Luz could have heard a pin drop.

Then Eda and Camila erupted into rapturous laughter. 

“Wait wait wait! The two of us? Together?” Eda cackled with tears prickling her eyes. She pointed to herself and Camila. “You thought Cam and I… oh Titan!”

Camila chuckled deep from her belly, but she covered her mouth and did her best to compose herself. It was painfully clear her sides were splitting, but she got an A for effort.

“Luz, honey…” Camila shook her head, a grin peeking behind her fingers. “What exactly did you do behind our backs to get us together?”

Luz wrung her hands together, feeling more than a little embarrassed. She hadn’t expected this strong of a reaction. Willow was right, she must have been seeing things that weren’t there. 

“Well, I had Amity get us the tickets to the World Theater, since she heard that was romantic. Then I tried to back out of the plan and wrecked the show.” Luz winced when a sharpness returned to Camila’s eyes. They would surely talk about this later. “... then I changed my mind again, and tried to get you flowers, but...”

“... But Oakley happened, yeah.” Eda nodded her head. No merchant this side of the Isles was kind enough to give away free products, not when they could wring Snails out of you instead. Not even Oakley was that generous, that sadsack of a demon.

With her laughter dying down, Camila said, “I knew I spotted you that day,  _ Mija _ . You must have been hiding.”

“Yeah, I was with Gus at the time.” Luz chuckled weakly, rubbing the back of her head. “I saw the whole thing, and the smackdown Eda put on that guy.”

“You even roped your friends into this?” Camila didn’t put it past them to aid Luz in her schemes, but she was surprised she fell for Gus’ diversion. 

“Willow tried to stop me. I just didn’t listen.” Luz wrung her hands together, knowing she needed to fess up to Willow tomorrow. She didn’t look forward to another lecture.

“So… are you and Amity dating, or was that another smokescreen?” Eda prodded.

The dark blush on Luz’s cheeks was all the answer they needed. Luz shook her head. “No no, that was real. I didn’t expect it, but Amity accidentally confessed and we hooked up. My real plan was setting you two on a blind date, but you guys saw right through it.”

Eda tilted her head to one side, her arms crossed. There was an almost disappointed look in her eyes, as if she expected Luz to be smarter than that.

“Luz, if you think I’d go out on a blind date with the bounty on my head, I’ve failed you as a mentor.”

Eda had taken it as a personal insult when Belos removed her bounty back when he thought she’d be stuck in her cursed form forever. The crime spree that happened over the next few weeks was astounding, shooting the witch’s previous trillion snails bounty up to a staggering trillion and one. Luz was very thankful her mother hadn’t been around yet when Eda was in that state, thinking her reputation ruined and doing everything she could to “fix” it. It would have really complicated their living situation.

“I was desperate, okay?” Luz tugged at her scalp. “Willow found out and scolded me, but I couldn’t just drop it! And it seemed like a good plan at the time. It landed me a girlfriend, so I think it turned out alright.” 

Luz crossed her arms and let out a huff, as if to say ‘take that!’ It took her a moment to remember that she was technically apologizing for her interference, so Luz quickly bowed her head. 

“So, uh, you guys aren’t mad, right? I could have sworn I saw the embers of romance. I mostly wanted to do something nice for you guys.” Luz left out the part about wanting to be one big family, since she accepted that they already were. And Luz certainly wasn’t about to bring up hypothetical siblings!

Camila glanced at Eda, then rose from her seat. Putting a hand on Luz’s shoulder, the Hispanic mother gave her daughter a patient look.

“I can’t speak for both of us, but I’m not angry. A little confused, but not angry. It’s just… until a week ago, I thought Eda was decades older than me, old enough to be my mother! I knew she’s pretty foxy, and Eda could make a lovely lady very happy one day, but for now, I’m still… processing this new information.”

Eda snorted and rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks for the kind words, Cam. I feel so loved right now. Do you speak so fondly of your hosts in the Human Realm, or just me?”

Leaning back in her seat, Eda put her hands behind her head. She breathed a cool nonchalance so thick that Luz swore the room temperature dropped by a few degrees.

“As for me, kid, I’m not exactly a one woman kinda gal. If my relationships last longer than six months, they always turn into a mess.” Eda winked at Luz. “Glad to know you approve of me, though! I’m flattered, really!”

A laugh escaped Luz, and for perhaps the first time during this little conversation, she felt the tension loosen from her shoulders. “Actually, it was your track record that led me to wrecking the theater! I didn’t want you breaking my mom’s heart!”

A deadpan frown crossed Eda’s face, and her lower eyelid twitched. “Wow, I’m getting all sorts of love from the ladies in my life today, huh?”

Camila patted the witch on the back, giving her a playful grin. “There there, Eda. We all know you’re great. We don’t mind that all your relationships end up in the garbage.” 

Turning back to Luz, Camila said, “Thank you for being honest with us,  _ Mija _ . It was a bit silly, but I can see where this misunderstanding came from. Eda and I have been very close lately, and you wanted the best for us. I just ask that you don’t try to force people into a relationship again?”

“I know. I’m sorry I butted in. I’ll stay out of your love lives from now.” Luz put a hand over her heart as she made the promise, then grinned at Eda. The Owl Lady smiled back in gratitude; if Eda was so old that she needed a child’s help to hook up with someone, then she was well-and-truly out of the game. 

Taking a deep breath, Camila clapped her hands together and nodded to the two most important ladies in her life.

“Now that’s over, I really must get to bed. The shop opens early tomorrow, we have a new shipment of fruits and vegetables coming in and I needed to be asleep two hours ago.” Camila brushed herself off, kissed Luz and Eda on the forehead, then headed upstairs. 

The teen and the witch watched the Hispanic mother walk upstairs, wishing her a good night. Out of the corner of her eye, Luz noticed Eda staring at something, then followed the line of her sight. Silently, Luz’s jaw fell open.

As soon as the click of Camila’s bedroom door snapped shut, the human turned to the Owl Lady with a glare. 

“Oh My Titan. Eda, were you just– ?”

Eda coughed into her hand nonchalantly, her attention now firmly on the ceiling. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, kid.”

“You bald-faced liar! You were checking out my Mom’s butt as she left!”

Eda held up her hands defensively. “Okay, hold on. First of all, “Bald-faced liar?” Is that what passes as an insult in your world, because of course I’m bald-faced, I’m a  **_woman_ ** . No beard! Second of all, can you really blame me? Hips like that, who wouldn’t stare?”

  
  


Luz groaned, burying her face in her hands. “So, this whole time you sat here, denying you felt anything for my Mom, when in reality you had the hots for her? Why weren’t you honest? Who knows, maybe if you did, both of us would have girlfriends tonight!?” 

Rolling her eyes, Eda stuck her tongue out. “You heard Cam. She isn’t interested in me. Yet.” 

Then Eda waggled her eyebrows. It was the waggle that did it, it just sealed how sick to her stomach Luz felt right now. 

“Give it time. Once Cam stops seeing me as an old crone, and notices what a great catch I am, she’ll be all over this.” Eda gestured to her shapely body, then winked suggestively. “And I’ll be all over that.”

Luz put her hands over her ears, trying in vain to protect her innocence. “Eda, that is my Mama you’re talking about! Watch your language!”

Eda grinned evilly, and leaned in with a hand over her ear. “What was that Luz? I couldn’t hear you over all the approval you gave me earlier. Afraid I’ll hurt your precious mother? Don’t worry, kid, Cam is a grown woman: she can take care of herself.”

“Lalala, I can’t hear you!” Luz tried to drone the witch out.

That only made Eda cackle louder. It was enough to ring off the living room walls, but not loud enough to drift into Camila’s room; Eda had some shred of decency, at least. 

“If you can’t hear me, I suppose you won’t mind if I list all the things I’d like to do to that hot piece of– ”

“Eda! I take back everything I said! I am going to do everything in my power to keep you two from ever dating!” Luz swore, fully prepared to fight the Owl Lady tooth-and-nail to protect her mother’s innocence, even if she had to discover a glyph for an Everlasting Oath to keep her promise. 

The Owl Lady just leaned back in her seat, her arms crossed and her mood as cool as a cucumber. She was never one to back down from a challenge, and if it meant snagging a great woman like Cam, Eda would stop at nothing to win her hand. Preferably still attached to her body, mind you.

“Oh, you can try, Kiddo.” Eda chuckled, shaking her head silently. “You can try!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gemini here, and before anyone rips my head off about Cam/Eda not actually happening in the story, I do want to say my piece. When I originally started this series, it was only just supposed to be the first fic, Uniting Homes. But then I got an idea for this one. And to get to that idea, I had to explain some events leading up to that idea, which lead to this becoming a series, followed by a very long 30,000+, multi chapter story to cap it off. That idea? Eda basically making a joke about sleeping with Luz’s Mom. That’s right, this entire series after the first fic was just one long “Your Mom” joke. And you all fell for it!
> 
> I currently have no plans to continue this series, either. Maybe after season 2 wraps up? But, if it never does, here is how I would see an epilogue for the CamEda fans playing out:
> 
> After a few months, Eda and Cam do end up dating, much to Luz’s dismay. In fact, her efforts to keep Eda from laying a finger on her mother probably causes them to get together in the first place. 
> 
> Eda is a bit of a jaded person when it comes to love. She’s had her heart broken many times, and broken just as many hearts. She’s never as clingy, or touchy as someone like Amity and Luz are, and by human standards she’s still pretty aloof, even if she tries to be openly affectionate by witch standards. It’s pretty clear early into the relationship that marriage isn’t on the table, but that isn’t a deal breaker for Camila. Cam’s been married before, and it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, in her opinion. She’s just happy to have someone by her side.
> 
> Things stay pretty static in their relationship. It takes a year or two before Eda ever says “I love you” to Cam, and takes over a decade before she wakes up one day, and sees Camila laying beside her in bed(because Cam would put her foot down, she is not sleeping in a nest), to realize just how much she means it. When She and Cam started dating, she figured it would run its course after a few months, and end like all the other relationships she has ever had, but instead, they’d had ten really good years together, and Cam never left her, even after the nastiest arguments.
> 
> When Eda later pops the question during breakfast, it takes a lot of convincing for Camila to believe Eda hadn’t been replaced with a magical double.
> 
> They get married a few weeks later. It’s a small ceremony. Eda’s bounty isn’t exactly a thing anymore, since Belos has been toppled by this point, but Eda still doesn’t have a lot of close friends or family she’d bother to invite, with most of the guests being friends Camila has made over the years, as well as Luz’s crew. 
> 
> They never have a kid together, much to Luz’s displeasure. She never did get over Carmelita Noceda-Clawthorne, and she never got to be a big sister. But by this point, they’re both old enough to be grandmothers, and are wanting Luz and Amity to have the kids. Which they do. Amity gets to name them.
> 
> And they all live happily ever after. The end.
> 
> And that's it, there you have it. Unless season 2 gives me a lot of material to add to this AU, this is the end. Well… unless… if I did an entire series of fics to get a single Your Mom joke out of Eda, I wonder how many we can write to get Amity to say “oh no, it’s the Fuzz!” while evading Coven guards?
> 
> With my piece done, it’s now my Co-author’s turn to speak, so say hello to Raphael_Antonello:
> 
> It’s funny, really: after all the time I’ve spent writing and editing this story with GeminiAlchemist, I have very little to say about it. I cannot rightly say I’m a big Camila/Eda shipper, not as much as I support Lumity. If Gemini hadn’t written the bulk of these stories, I likely wouldn’t have contributed as much as I did. For all his talk about crack ships and not wanting to diverge from the canon material too much, GeminiAlchemist is the creative backbone of this series, and I appreciate that he let me contribute a few pages to it.
> 
> That said, it has been a sincere pleasure to write this story with him and share it with all of you. We make sure to read over all of your comments, and we appreciate all of your support. Even if this series doesn’t continue, Gemini and I are likely to write more Owl House fanfics in the future, so look forward to that. 
> 
> Finally, don’t forget that out there somewhere, there is someone who cares about you. During these difficult times, many things are uncertain and there is no promise of how things will turn out. Perhaps I’m being mushy or romanticizing things, but Gemini and I partly wrote this story in an effort to bring some more light into this world, to brighten peoples’ days. If we can get at least one laugh or smile out of this story, it is well worth it. Keep strong, keep smart, and never forget that you are important and to take care of yourselves. 
> 
> Raphael Antonello, out.


End file.
